Tragedy! Her eyes skittered past our hero ‘Sir’ Michael
SLEAFORD’S new Conservative MP, Caroline Johnson, ‘took her seat’. One odd thing about this ceremony is that the newly-elected MP always leaves the Chamber as soon as she or he has sworn the oath, signed the book and shaken hands with the Speaker. The actual ‘taking of the seat’, as in sitting on one of the green leather benches, is left until later.
Dr Johnson (she is a medic but it is a promising name) was no exception. Once she had said hello to John Bercow she headed for the Chamber’s back doors.
‘ Sir’ Michael Ellis was waiting behind the Speaker’s Chair to congratulate (Sir Michael pronounces it ‘congradulade’) her. He is not really a knight but is so shameless a greaser to Royalty that colleagues in the Tea Room breakfast club have granted him the title. After all, it can only be a matter of time before a grateful Sovereign summons this powdered Herbert to tap him on the shoulders with her sword.
There loitered Sir Michael behind the Chair yesterday afternoon, bobbing up and down on the balls of his feet like a four- star hotel manager. He was attired in the new suit he has been wearing since he became Deputy Leader of the House.
He perhaps anticipated Dr Johnson espying him and saying, ‘Sir Michael Ellis! What an honour!’ Seniority beings its rewards. AS Dr Johnson finished with Speaker Bercow, Sir Michael assembled to his lips an expression of indulgent delight. Ah yes, a new recruit, a young ’un; he, the old hand, the seasoned pro’, would be happy to take her under his wise wing and give her the benefit of his (six) years of experience in the House.
It grieves me to say that a minor tragedy occurred. Dr Johnson did see Ellis but her eyes skittered over and past him in a trice and she sashayed past our hero without vouchsafing to him so much as an inch-let of recognition. Oh no!
The House had just heard Defence Questions, presided over by the unflappable Secretary of State, Michael Fallon. Should anything bad ever happen to Boris Johnson (I much hope it does not, for Boris is a star), Mr Fallon would be perfect as Foreign Secretary.
Yesterday he managed to glide with ease around all sorts of pitfalls, from Donald Trump’s comments about Nato to the meagre size of our Royal Navy.
Mr Fallon said he had been to the United States twice in the past three weeks, so there has plainly been some carpet- chewing about Nato behind the scenes. Yet he spoke about it in so creamily confident a fashion that any public anxiety may have been allayed.
There was in Washington, he said, ‘a clear understanding of the importance of Nato’. With his treacly tone he conveyed that publicity and open ab-dabs were the last thing we needed. Perhaps the 10 Downing Street press office should get him to field calls when Boris next does that awkward business of telling the truth about some matter of international affairs.
The day’s other notable event was a House of Lords question from Ukip’s brave Lord Pearson about ‘ violent verses’ in the Koran. Lord Pearson hoped that British Islam’s leaders would re- examine their faith’s attitude to these verses and place a higher value on the more peaceful parts of the Koran.
The House of Lords did not quite faint but there was certainly a fair amount of clucking.
A Lib Dem, Lady Hussein-Ece, questioned whether or not it was ‘appropriate’ for such a matter to be discussed in the Chamber. The Home Office’s Lady Williams plainly thought it a horrid discussion, to be ended as fast as possible.
But Lord Pearson was supported by Crossbencher Lord Singh, who noted the ‘air of embarrassment’ that afflicted the House when religion was raised, ‘ as if it were something private that should notbe discussed’. To the contrary, said Lord Singh, ‘it is very much a concern of us all’.