Can you really make dreams come true just by wishing?
That was the idea behind a self-help book that sold 19million copies. And, ten years on, these women swear The Secret worked for them
WE’VE all made a wish that hasn’t come true. Whether it’s been to win the Lottery, meet Mr Right or lose our tummy flab, so many people’s hopes simply come to naught, no matter how earnestly they plead with the gods of fate. But, says self-help guru Rhonda Byrne, there’s no excuse for anyone experiencing such disappointments. Especially not today, ten years after her book, The Secret, created a sensation. Based on her 2006 documentary film of the same name, The Secret sold 19 million copies and was translated into 46 languages. And, she says, its lessons are still just as pertinent for us all as they were a decade ago.
So what is Byrne’s method for eternal happiness and getting just what you desire? Think positive. She says all you have to do is write a list, asking the universe for what you want, be it your mortgage paid off or Poldark’s hunky Aidan Turner on a platter.
Or you make a ‘vision board’ where you place pictures and ‘inspirational’ sayings related to your wish.
Cynical? Well remember that this simple idea earned Byrne millions in royalties and the following of the lovelorn and desperate across the world.
She also insists there’s more to The Secret than just a list. You have phrase your requests in exactly the right way. This is where we’ve all been going wrong. You must be detailed in every particular.
For example, Byrne writes of a woman desperate for a boyfriend. She had visualised him — but he still failed to materialise. Byrne explains that he did not turn up because she had not made sufficient physical space for a man in her life.
So the woman went to the garage and moved the car from the middle so as to leave room for her imaginary partner’s vehicle, then cleared out half her wardrobe and began sleeping on one side of her double bed. Hey presto, the right man soon came along.
Now Byrne is back with How The Secret Changed My Life. ‘This book is in celebration of ten years of The Secret,’ she says. ‘We had 35,000 stories submitted to our website, telling how people used The Secret to change their lives.’
Here, five women tell how they’re convinced their happiness is down to finding The Secret all those years ago . . . FIVE years ago, i was in a pit of despair. i’d split with my partner and was finding work increasingly stressful.
Try as i might, nothing was going my way. i went on a date with a man who seemed nice — until he started stroking my leg. i pushed his hand away and he punched me, hard, in the face. i was traumatised, and spent the weekend in bed, weeping — only to discover, when i found the strength to stand, that my whole face was hanging down.
A trip to hospital later, i learnt my cheekbone was broken and had collapsed. Doctors told me i needed an operation to put a plate where the bone had been.
All in all, it was horrific. And things didn’t get better fast. i moved in with my mum in Suffolk and, unable to exercise because of the surgery, put on a stone-and-a-half. i sank into a deep depression.
Then, in 2011, a friend told me about The Secret. i stayed up all night reading it.
Rather than just a list, i made a vision board with pictures of what i wanted to achieve — families, happy couples and wedding photos.
i also went back to college, started exercising and tried to focus on my career. it was as if i was making space for myself to thrive. i began online dating and, in the process, went on a date with a man, Matthew, who today is my husband.
At first glance, i knew he was The One. When you embark on The Secret, you visualise precisely the person you want — and Matthew matches my dreams exactly: adventurous, funny and warm-hearted.
He is also my perfect type physically — well built, with dark hair and blue eyes — exactly the kind of man that i had pictured.
Things moved fast, and we married in 2012. Then, in December 2014, our beautiful little daughter, Pandora, was born. And yes, i used The Secret before i conceived her, too — making a vision board covered with baby pictures and writing down affirmations such as, ‘Thank you for my beautiful baby’.
i simply couldn’t be happier. While my depression is a thing of the past, i still use The Secret to keep myself on track. My work is quite targetdriven so i write down affirmations and try to exceed my assigned goals.
As for Matthew, he knows all about The Secret and how i wished for him before we even met. He thinks it’s brilliant. MY LIST of troubles used to be endless. My husband, a pilot, and i split after 11 years of marriage.
We had adopted our son, then aged six, and daughter, after not being able to have our own children, so splitting up was a heartbreaking experience.
But it got worse. We had built a fabulous six-bedroom house together in Cheshire, which was sold to a footballer after our split. But i had signed documents that meant, instead of receiving half the profits, i didn’t get a penny.
i was left a penniless single mum. Life was hard. i went back to college to study psychology, but we still lived in a small home. it seemed like a mountain to climb.
Then, in 2006, i discovered The Secret. i made a vision board of all the things i wanted — a new car, a lovely house, fabulous holidays. i couldn’t see how they could possibly happen but, amazingly, they have all since come to pass.
For example, when i started The Secret, we had a really old car. So i started visualising a new car and kept the exact model in my mind.
Every time i saw this particular Peugeot, i used to say to my son: ‘That’s my car.’ i even tried to keep a parking space empty outside our house, and would imagine the car sitting in it. Then i received an unexpected legacy from a relative for an amount that allowed me to get my Peugeot.
i’ve since applied The Secret to everything from house searches — we now have a gorgeous four-bedroom home in a lovely area — to expanding my psychotherapy business. The Secret just works for me. i feel like i’m lucky in life. i always win raffles, find parking spaces and money flows very well. My life is very comfortable now.
IT’S hard to believe that ten years ago i was so riven with panic that i was fainting six times a day. But life was simply intolerable.
Anxious about making ends meet, i was working two jobs — cleaning in the morning and working for a private healthcare firm in the afternoon.
And despite the fact i knew my relationship was making me unhappy, i felt trapped by the fact we had a joint mortgage. Panic attacks followed, which terrified me. They escalated into chronic hyperventilation syndrome, where you actually pass out from hyperventilating. it was the definition of rock bottom.
Desperate to sort myself out, i bought several self- help
books, including The Secret. When I read it, it was like it was speaking directly to me.
I created a ‘manifestation box’ — a beautiful wooden casket with flowers carved on it and a dark bronze clasp — and placed my written wishes inside it.
First, I wanted find a job where I felt appreciated and worthy. I was also desperate for the panic attacks to stop and I really needed to gain a sense of peace.
I then decided to leave my job at the healthcare company, despite having nothing else to go to, and I extricated myself from my failing relationship. Almost immediately, my panic attacks subsided. Then, with the money I received from the sale of our flat, I took a course in hypnosis. The positive transformation was beyond all my hopes.
Now I try to help people with their emotional health — I just love it. And it’s all down to The Secret. I still use it on a daily basis. I also keep a gratitude journal, where I write down everything I’m grateful for — they’re basic things like water, health, blue skies, electricity and food.
I still use my manifestation box. One recent wish that came true followed my writing down that I wanted to speak at a particular conference. Then the organiser rang me up and asked me to do so.
I feel like The Secret was written just for me. Of course, not all of my wishes have come true yet.
I’ve still to attract more money and the ideal relationship, but when I compare how happy I am to the broken wreck all those years ago, I feel so grateful.
THE end of my 11-year-long marriage in 2009 pushed me into depression. I felt as if a dark cloud was on my head.
As well as this, the business that I ran — a magazine, which had 60 franchises around the country — hit financial difficulties because of the credit crunch and folded. It seemed as if my whole life was starting to crumble. Then, someone recommended The Secret. The idea that your thoughts and wishes can become your reality grabbed me.
After this, I went to hear a motivational speaker. He was talking in front of 10,000 people and I thought to myself: ‘If he can do that, I can too.’
So, in January 2009, I announced to the world that I was now a motivational speaker. I got smart new business cards, spread the word on social media and started speaking at events.
Initially, I spoke about depression, but I soon moved onto inspiring businesses. I just adore what I do.
I still practise The Secret — it’s like having a faith. While I’m not religious, it certainly adds a spiritual element to my life. You put out what you want to receive. So I always try to remain positive.
Some people feel threatened, though. A friend of a friend once told me to stop being so cheerful. I wrote him an email afterwards telling him I’d suffered from depression and that, for me, such positivity is a conscious choice. Today, I make vision boards to bring about the things that I want.
For example, in 2014, I wanted to travel, so I made a board with several various destinations on it and ended up going on six different holidays in that one year.
Until now, my daughter has been my focus, but she’ll be going to college next year, so I might have some energy to put into a relationship. I’m sure that The Secret will help me there, too. FIVE years ago, I bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. She looked great. I couldn’t help asking why.
Her reply, delivered with a big smile, was cryptic: ‘The Secret.’ Bemused, but also intrigued, I ordered the book.
How different its advice was to the way I was brought up! My mother never looked forward to anything, so fearful that, if she did, it wouldn’t happen. The holiday would be cancelled or the treat ruined. It was exhausting. The Secret turned this pessimism on its head. I started reading it before work every morning. I didn’t make a vision board, but I did compile a mental list of the things I wanted to happen. The effect was instant. Life became less ‘half empty’ and more ‘half full’. I even started asking mentally for a parking space in busy areas and they began to appear. It sounds mad, but I promise you it works.
There were big things I wanted, too. I’d longed to be a writer, but hated my grammar school and left at 15.
But once I started using The Secret, I could see my book and its story, which was set in a country house hotel.
So I started writing. It wasn’t all roses: I was looking after my elderly mother then, but the book wrote itself.
I had many rejection letters, but never gave up. Then, in 2012, I self-published my book. It raced up the Amazon bestseller chart until it was number three in women’s fiction and chosen by a national newspaper as ebook of the week.
That success attracted a publisher, who published my next novel, which was set in the world of celebrity chefs.
I have a novella coming out-this month. It’s as if something magical happened the day I discovered The Secret.
It’s never too late to try it. My age helped me, as I think that, in your 50s, it’s really important to do something new.
I still start the day with my battered copy of The Secret and a cuppa. There are lots of things I want to achieve and I know The Secret will help.