For those we love, we must all carry on caring
Novelist laurie Graham’s description of her husband Howard in the grip of dementia (Mail) is one close to my heart. My husband of 45 years, who is only 73, has dementia with lewy bodies, plus Parkinson’s. laurie writes that she will soon be a ‘grass widow to dementia’ and is unsure how she’ll cope. she can rest assured that she will cope, as do all the spouses of people in care homes. she has my sympathy, as i know how she will feel. My husband, Michael, has been in a care home now for nearly two years. As thousands of other spouses do, i go every day to hold his hand and talk to him, to give him some reassurance that i still love him and that he hasn’t been abandoned to this cruel disease. these spouses might not be able to walk or talk and they might have to be fed and dressed and have everything done for them — but still you go. they might look at you and you’re not sure whether they know who you are. But still you go to what becomes your second home. You get to know the carers like friends. this becomes your life. But be assured, laurie Graham, you will cope because, like thousands of us with spouses with some form of dementia, we love them and want to help them through this journey when they are confused, have tortured minds and are slowly dying. We have to keep strong for our husbands or wives at this difficult time in their lives. i would like to see laurie Graham write another article on her experiences in the future, so people know what life with a partner in this situation is like. she will find it heartbreaking, but i know she will be strong and that she can do it.
NAOMI JOYCE, Cheadle, Cheshire.