Rhymesfor ourtimes
O come all ye shoppers, Christmas is upon us, O come ye, O come ye to Debenhams. Primark, John Lewis, Marks & Spencer, Matalan, O come and blow your wages, Though earning it took ages, Just top it up in stages, With some short-term loans! O come all ye parents, Spoil those little angels, What’s the harm in giving them the best you can’t afford? See determined faces as they put you through your paces, They think that money grows on trees, Their cunning brings you to your knees, A shame they never mention ‘please’, Just where you’re going Next! O come all ye children, Nag in expectation, Unleash your worst behaviour when in Toys-R-Us, It’s not about affording, just undeserved rewarding, So get into the ‘moan’ zone, In aggravating monotone, Insist they take a bigger loan It pays to make a fuss! O come all ye sellers, Set your stalls according, Flog your lovely merchandise religiously, Forget church bells and singing, just keep them tills a-ringing, No need to be aggressive, To prey on the obsessive, Their lust for gifts excessive, In this PC World! O come all ye lenders, Admirers of King ‘Harrod’, There’s nothing to be proud of getting others into debt, Playing the percentage game without accepting any blame, Will cause upset for certain, See some go for a Burton, For others maybe ‘curtains’, If they fail to mind the Gap! O come all ye MPs, Loaded and triumphant, Remember Christmas should be all about the Virgin birth, As if you didn’t know it, higher debt could see us blow it, Don’t think it Disney matter, Such fragile growth can shatter, The New Year could feel flatter, With more trouble in store! O come Father Christmas, Some of this is your fault, Sitting in your grotto charging kids for junk, Once a trailblazer, now a prop for House of Fraser, Selfridges adore you, Argos are all for you, But I think let’s restore you, To your pre-commercial self! O come supermarkets, Don’t pretend you’re caring, Market share and profits are what make you tick, Sainsbury’s embrace it. Tesco can’t replace it. But what is this behaviour, That sees us all get ‘crave-ier’ Have we ostracised the Saviour? Jesus Christ!