Treasure your mum and dad while you still can
MY MOTHER lives in Chestnut Lodge dementia care home and I visit her three or four times a week. My teenage son Daniel comes with me. He says he has the feeling ‘time has stopped there’ — but it was only a first impression. The moment you say ‘Hello’ to the residents or smile at them, they all smile back, shake hands, start talking or just wave. One lady rarely spoke to me but said once: ‘Thank you very, very much; you’re always smiling at me.’ Another lady just wants to hug me. One resident kept asking me to take her to her son. She wanted to go to Greenford by car and I had to tell her I didn’t know where that was. She immediately started telling everyone that I’m so silly that I don’t know Greenford. Even the staff were laughing. The residents have everything physical they require but need so much of our attention; someone to listen and speak with, to smile and hug them. We bring chocolates to my mum and she shares them with her mates. The care home food is nice, but they all love sweets. I once asked my neighbours to give me something to take as a treat and got a Polish cake, a chocolate cake, some tea cakes and some Indian sweets. We all had a nice party. At Easter, my son brought his friend Michael and they sang for the residents. This Christmas, we’re organising another singing party. This is a great opportunity to teach our children how to make someone’s life happier. It’s an opportunity to teach our kids to respect grandparents and old people and to spare some time for a very rewarding mission. We need to make our children aware that we need our parents not only when they’re healthy and strong, but even when they’re frail. I feel really sorry for residents of this home who have children who come to visit them just once a year — or never. Do you not remember your parents buying you treats, taking you to birthday parties, hugging you when you cried, making you happy? Now it’s your turn! Show your love before it’s too late. When our parents pass away, we can never again be sons and daughters.
VIKTORIYA VALDAVICIUS, Perivale, Middx.