OSCAR CAINER

THE sun’s uncomfortable angle with neptune last weekend caused me to think about ‘Planet X’. some people have been predicting that this mysterious planet called nibiru will arrive in october to collide with and destroy the Earth. Anyone in my line of work spends a lot of time studying the sky. And all those who take a rigorous approach to observing the heavens, are perfectly sure that nibiru won’t be arriving this year … nor indeed any other. today, don’t be cowed by visions of unlikely disaster.

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20

I WONDER why don’t

we all live forever. Perhaps it’s because none of us really want to. I bet that one day, scientists find a mechanism embedded in our DNA that enables our eternal existence, but only on the condition that we never lose our desire for it. The moment we say, even briefly, we’re sick of this world, we surrender our divine right to immortality. That’s probably all for the best. What makes life fun is that it’s not forever. Disguised behind a problem, there’s an opportunity to make a significant move forward today. NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21

‘SOMEWHERE over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. . .’ So sang Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz. In this song she pined for a wonderful world full of magic. Yet the story that followed was all about how she finally got to go to just such a place, only to spend the whole time trying to get home again. But, perhaps, if all that hadn’t happened, she would never have appreciated the true value of everything she already had. It may seem to you now as if, having gone a long way in one direction, you must retrace your steps. But that’s no bad thing. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22

IT’S easy to act on impulse. But it’s never so easy to retract a gesture made without forethought. Are you letting a powerful emotion blind you to an important point of protocol? You feel happy to cut corners, follow a feeling and worry later about how wise, how right or how timely your choice was. But someone else in your world wants you to proceed with much more care. Don’t see this as an unwelcome imposition. Respect what another person feels . . . and they’ll be so much more receptive to you. NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June 23 — July 23

THEY say, ‘There’s no time like the present’. Ah, but when did they say that? Which particular present were they referring to? This present might be different! Perhaps, to be on the safe side, you should put things off. Leave them a while. Actually, scratch that. If that’s really the right thing to do, circumstances will create the right delays for you. You’ll encounter obstacles

LEO July 24 — Aug 23 VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23

and you’ll simply have to feel grateful for them, rather than aggravated by them. If reasons to hold back don’t exist, don’t create them. Today’s the day to press on. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5604. SUCCESS isn’t all it is cracked up to be. We desire it deeply when we feel we haven’t got it, yet the moment we achieve it, we begin to find fault! Interestingly, failure is less final than we fear. We’re terrified of making a mistake or of falling flat on our face, but we soon discover it’s possible to bounce right back. Are you running from a monster that doesn’t exist, towards a reward that’s vastly overrated — and which you can never properly claim? Relax a little! If you’re enjoying your life, you’re being successful. NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5605. ‘A “NO” uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.’ So said Gandhi. He espoused ‘non-violence’. Yet by this, he most certainly didn’t mean that he felt people should be passive. He believed in being firm as well as fair. That’s why I’m quoting him to you today. It’s not that I think you’re in any danger of letting anger overtake you. But, if you can let it drive you to make a wise, tempered response rather than have a wild, impulsive reaction, you can work a miracle. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23

MONEY can’t buy love.

Not even the world’s wealthiest billionaire can elicit this emotion from anyone, no matter how much they may be prepared to spend. Some experiences and emotions are simply too precious to put a price on. The glorious truth is that they’re freely available to all of us, no matter how rich or poor. Yet, although love is invariably beyond wealth, it can still, in a strange way, be ‘earned’. It may be appropriate to work harder, this week, at a potential relationship. You may well be rewarded. NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22

SOME people love curry; the hotter, the better. Others shudder at the slightest suggestion of a strong spice in their dinner. The distinction between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ varies dramatically according to taste. Now, are you due to have a good week? That rather depends on how you feel about chillies! You need to find a way, somehow, to learn to love a situation that appears to be hotting up — or at least to find a philosophical attitude that, like yoghurt, takes some of the sting away from all that seems sharp. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21

IF YOU want to see people living with deep faith, you don’t have to go to a church or a temple. Just visit a station or a bus stop. Look at those folk all standing patiently, waiting for their ride to come along. What if it doesn’t? What if the sign or timetable is wrong? They don’t care. They’ve put their trust in the transport company and they feel sure their dedication will be rewarded. Usually it is. You’re not sure if you’re now safe to rely on a mechanism that’s all but invisible to you? But what on earth else can you do? NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN Dec 22 — Jan 20

THE question we need to ask is: ‘What do you want?’ The answer we need to hear is, ‘Something that works for me.’ If the reply is any more specific than that, there’s a risk it may lead to frustration and confusion. When we feel that we know exactly what we require, right down to the last detail, there’s always a chance that we may be misleading ourselves. It’s far better for you to allow a little fluidity and flexibility in your plan. Surely, all you want is something that works. That much, you can definitely have today. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS Jan 21 — Feb 19

WHEN we’re travelling by train or express coach, we have to go from station to station. Even if the journey takes us past our destination, we can’t just say: ‘Stop, I’m getting out here.’ We have to wait patiently until we’ve transferred to a more local form of transport. Is that unsatisfactory? Not really. It’s just the way things have to be. But we could waste a lot of energy becoming cross about it if we chose to. Where, in your life now, are you protesting against something you really might as well just accept? NEW! Your financial predictions for 2017. For some surprisingly encouraging news, call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb 20 — Mar 20

MOST people find it hard to tell when they’re being lied to. The tricksters of this world know how to take advantage of this. They abuse our good nature. But none of us are fooled for long. Sooner or later, all victims of deception wake up and wise up. We understand this, yet, when we find ourselves in difficult situations, we’re often tempted to fib our way out of it. A half-truth here, a white lie there ... what harm will that do? Plenty! If you truly want to solve a problem, be honest with yourself and others, too. NEW! Don’t miss your 2017 Full Year Ahead Money forecast. There’s better news than you think. Call 0906 751 5612.