AN INSPECTOR CALLS
His mission: To test hotel hospitality to the limit
THERE are plenty of hotels around the New Forest, and many (Lime Wood, The Pig et al) are far swankier than The Mill at Gordleton (and double the price), but you won’t get as warm a welcome.
‘You sit yourself down by the fire, my love, and we’ll bring you a menu and everything will be fine,’ says Jane, who tells me she’s worked here for 15 years and loves her job — especially because her daughter can walk to school.
The beach is so close (‘perfect for blowing away the cobwebs, my love’) and the gardens are ‘gorgeous’ in summer. She also tells me how it would be good to have a dry January, but ‘I do like my wine’.
It’s hard to get my order in edgeways, but an equally friendly man comes along and does the business.
He explains 2017 will be a big year because the Upham Pub Group, which bought The Mill a couple of years ago, has acquired the next-door property where it intends to build some suites, and I must see some of the sculptures before leaving. It’s good to talk.
There are ten rooms, all with duck names. Mine has thick carpet, a basin in the bedroom rather than a bathroom, a valance sheet, a duck on the bed with a Do Not Disturb sign round its neck and a small, tinny TV.
Put it this way: this is not geared towards the Shoreditch crowd. Rather, it’s for the more mature traveller for whom pampering means a decent cup of Earl Grey and a hot
scone, instead of soya-infused green tea and a sliver of seaweed.
From my window, I can see two giant chairs like thrones made of wood. There’s a river outside and it must, indeed, be lovely in summer.
I eat in the cosy bar rather than the fussy dining room in the new part of the building. The food is uninspired, but there’s lots of it. ‘Haven’t you done well, my love,’ says Jane as she collects my empty plate after I’ve wolfed down the sea bream with crushed potatoes.
Then she adds: ‘Sorry, don’t want to sound like your mother.’
I’ve a tickle in my throat, so Jane kindly brings me a mug of hot lemon and honey and I head upstairs.
It’s not quite so cheery in the morning. Leonard Cohen’s Suzanne is coming through the loudspeaker, followed by Bob Dylan’s Blowin’ In The Wind. I need a little more assurance first thing and it’s frustrating to be told the espresso coffee machine is out of action because ‘no one’s cleaned it from the night before’.
But for £104 B& B, it’s been a comfortable stay. And if you want a chat, Jane will be happy to oblige. The Mill at Gordleton
Silver Street Hordle, Hants SO41 6DJ
Tel: 01590 682219 themillatgordleton.co.uk
Doubles from £89 B&B