Is bitter Clegg as irritating in Dutch as he is in English?
HAPPY Article 50 Day to you all. Wonderful moment. But here in the citadel, there is whinnying and eye-twitching from Remainers. The place has gone slightly mad.
They know Article 50 has to be swallowed but they are still trying to resist. Imagine trying to push semolina past the lips of an unwilling toddler.
Yesterday the Remoaners were torn: should they be crosser about Brexit, another Scottish independence referendum or the Mail’s jaunty frontpage blurb about Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon flashing their pins on Monday?
The Mail yarn won, naturally. As we say on Fleet Street, that story’s got legs.
Overnight, Labour’s Sir Keir Starmer, possibly the dullest man in politics, issued six demands for Brexit. ‘ Legs-it’ blew poor Keir off the headlines. Just after breakfast, Nick Clegg and some of his friends upped Sir Keir’s six demands to ten, and called them ‘pledges’.
Former deputy PM Clegg (Lib Dem, Sheffield Hallam) appeared at a Westminster venue alongside Chris Leslie (Lab, Nottingham E) and Nicky Morgan (Con, Loughborough).
They claimed to be speaking for the British people when identifying certain promises we, the electorate, would expect the Government to keep as we leave the EU.
These included ‘ the exact same benefits’ as are currently extended to Britain on trade.
Mrs Morgan, who as ever wore the startled face of a cocktail party guest who had just popped a blisteringly hot sausage into her mouth, would spend the rest of the morning appearing on various TV screens.
Alas, her soundbites were slightly marred because she gave the mistaken impression that she was reconsidering her future in the Conservative Party. She later said this was wrong and that she intended to be a Tory MP for many years to come. Given what she once said about Mrs May’s trousers, she might be lucky to do so.
Lord Prescott was Tweeting about ‘Legs-it’ like a speedtyping chimp.
The Greens turned puce. Pipsqueak London Mayor Sadiq Khan tried to grab himself some media attention by saying the Mail would never have been so rude about male politicians. Memo to self: must do a number on Sadiq next week.
Scottish Opposition leader Ruth Davidson (Con) published a photograph of her toes in a Jacuzzi. Jolly edible they looked, too. Scotland’s Parliament was holding a debate about an independence referendum.
Back here at the Commons there was some odd behaviour from the normally mild-mannered Hilary Benn, Remainer chairman of the Commons select committee on Brexit.
Mr Benn (Lab, Leeds C) had previously been reasonably successful in finding a consensual approach to his committee’s findings but this ended when he presented his committee members with, in effect, a fait accompli of a report.
It was fanatically anti-Brexit. When the committee met at 9 o’clock yesterday, its proLeave MPs said ‘hold on, Hilary – the usual form is to let us see a proposed report beforehand so we can contribute to it and help mould its conclusions’.
Mr Benn shrugged. Had he decided to rupture his committee’s consensus in order to get himself some airtime?
Having done that, he found the broadcasters were only interested in Mrs May and Miss Sturgeon’s hemlines.
NOrude words were exchanged at the committee meeting – Mr Benn is more of a Sergeant Wilson than a Captain Mainwaring – but the collegiate approach of the committee has been shattered.
Its pro-Leave MPs decided there was no longer much point staying in the room and they drifted away, led by Brexiteer Dominic Raab (Con, Esher & Walton).
Just in case we had not had enough excitement, Mr Clegg published a collection of his ‘Brexit Papers’ – basically, most of the Press releases he has sent out since last June. Collector’s item.
Mr Clegg really is terribly cross, in several languages, about Brexit. I suppose it has ruined his chances of becoming an EU Commissioner. But they might not have wanted him. I bet he is just as irritating in Dutch as he is in English.