Royal bath runner, fender polisher, Tweeter, swan keeper

As the Queen advertises for a full-time curtain maker, we reveal more of the delightfully quaint positions at Buck House

AN ability to work as part of a team. top-notch organisational skills. Extensive experience. the job requirements might sound run-of-the-mill, yet the reality is not — for the successful applicant will be working for the Queen.

the Royal Household is currently advertising for a talented £22,000a- year curtain- maker and soft furnishings upholsterer who can deliver ‘spectacular results’.

appreciation of regal decor would come in handy, but an aristocratic lineage is not essential.

applicants from all walks of life will be considered. the Sovereign relies on more than 800 staff to keep the 775 rooms and 42-acre buckingham Palace grounds in order, so regular vacancies occur.

So is it time to polish up your CV? From bath-runner to clock winder to fendersmith, we reveal the (very) odd jobs that could crop up . . .

BATH RUNNER

FANCY making sure the bathwater is of a depth and temperature fit for a Queen or the various guests frequenting her 78 bathrooms?

the live- in role of household assistant was advertised in January 2014 for the somewhat meagre salary of £14,400 a year, though it doesn’t

just involve running baths, alas. there is dusting and vacuuming to be done, too, plus arranging breakfast trays and ‘ assisting with dressing if required’ (there will be ‘contact’ with the Royal Family, though who exactly needs help getting dressed is not specified).

the assistant, who is given accommodation in one of 188 staff bedrooms at buckingham Palace, must also make ‘ internal glass’ sparkle (there are 760 windows).

FLAG RAISER

THERE is somebody employed specifically to raise and lower the Royal Standard at buckingham Palace, as well as those at other

residences and on cars. the four-quartered Standard represents the Sovereign and can only be flown when the Queen is at home — if she’s not in residence, the Union flag is raised instead.

Since 2014, this ‘flag sergeant’ has been lance Sergeant Nathan bowen: the tradition is thought to stem from a time when monarchs fighting in wars used a flag to identify themselves on battlefields.

Nowadays, the flag sergeant gets his own office in which to keep the flag paraphernalia.

FENDER CLEANER

BUCKINGHAM Palace is one of the few remaining stately homes to employ a fendersmith, whose job is to clean and repair the metal fenders behind the fireplaces.

the fendersmith belongs to a wider team of palace and castle attendants and is also charged with preparing rooms for events and, presumably, polishing the brass on fireplace hardware.

With scores of fires to attend to, they won’t be sitting twiddling their thumbs for long.

PERSONAL PIPER

WHILE many people enjoy waking up to the today programme or a tune on their iPhone, every weekday at 9am the Queen is treated to 15 minutes of vigorous bagpipe playing outside her windows.

the position of piper dates back to Queen Victoria, who heard bagpipes in 1842 when she and Prince albert visited the Highlands and appointed her first piper the following year.

Since 1965, the job has gone to a serving soldier and is currently held by Pipe major Scott methven of the argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, Royal Regiment of Scotland, who is reportedly paid £48,000 a year. How much the monarch actually

appreciates the music is debatable, wever. In 2012, Andy Gill, former member of the Eighties band Gang Four, claimed that when he met the Queen at a Buckingham Palace ception, she said she was ‘rather tired’ of listening to her piper. Palace spokesman declined to comment on the Queen’s private conversations, naturally.

XPERT GARDENER

Or those with green fingers, what could be more prestigious than tending to the 42-acre gardens of ckingham Palace? There was an opening for a gardener to join the ‘small team’ last ar on a salary of £17,000. The gardens are home to 350 peso of wildflower and contain a ke, helicopter landing area and nnis court. According to the sales pitch on the royal website, the job is all about admiring your lawn before millions the same’.

LOCK WINDER

Buckingham Palace employs two all-time staff to ensure the 350 bucks run like clockwork. The clock winders — officially titled Urologists and offered £31,200 a ar when a job was advertised in September 2013 — wind the clocks every week. With 1,000 clocks to tend to throughout the royal residences, just turning them forwards and backwards twice a year in spring and autumn takes 50 hours.

The horologists’ duties also include ‘a particular ability to strip and clean mechanisms, make new parts, solder, turn, cut screws, wheels and pinions, make hands, silver dials, pattern making, brazing and some forging.’

Their responsibilities include a gilt-metal bracket clock given by henry VIII to his second wife, Anne Boleyn.

In 2014, it was reported that royal clockmaker Steven Davidson had had repetitive strain injury diagnosed in his right hand after 18 years of service — but loved his work so much, he made himself new tools that allowed him to do the job left-handed when he needed a rest. This claim was not confirmed by the royal household.

POT WASHER

YOU might not have the expertise to perfect her majesty’s favourite grilled Dover sole, but if you’re prepared to put on your marigolds, you can assist her 20-strong team of chefs as a pot-washer.

The optional live-in role, advertised last July, requires no experience, but demands a willingness to clean utensils and help deliver hundreds of meals a day.

Granted, you won’t get rich on the £17,000-a-year salary — but meals are included, along with 33 days’ annual holiday, and you will have access to the Palace gym, social clubs and swimming pool. You will also be dispatched to Balmoral and Windsor castle whenever the Queen decamps to her other residences and, presumably, might be treated to the occasional leftover slice of her favourite three-layered chocolate perfection pie before you clock off.

PALACE FOOTMAN

THE job of footman might be multifaceted, but an ability to massage the egos of the many millionaires who pass through the Palace’s gilded doors is a given.

Advertised in April 2014 as ‘ an exciting role’ in ‘ a unique environment,’ the position paid a distinctly un-princely £15,781 a year.

What the job lacks in financial rewards it makes up for in glamour — footmen are responsible for front- of-house service and receive guests including the likes of Angelina Jolie and David Beckham.

In his 2011 book not In Front Of The corgis, royal biographer Brian hoey claimed Palace footmen must be at least 5ft 8in tall and ideally of slim enough build to fit into the existing liveried uniforms, which he said cost £2,000 to replace.

It is important to ‘want to please people and inspire them with your kindness’, says George Oates, who became a Palace footman at the age of 22 in 2012.

But more important is the ability to lay a table with military precision: ‘When we host a banquet, every piece of glass and china is meticulously measured onto the table,’ mr Oates says.

LINEN GUARDIAN

SHUDDER at the sight of a crumpled tablecloth and love an expertly folded napkin? Then this position might appeal.

The Palace’s linen keeper, who must have ‘meticulous attention to detail’ and experience of working with lace, is responsible for monitoring and laundering linen used daily and for State occasions.

As of December 2014, the rather frugal live-in pay is £16,000 a year for a 40-hour week, with up to eight weekend shifts required a year.

Additional responsibilities include ‘co- ordinating and overseeing the external dry cleaning service operation and a linen repair service’ as well as keeping the housekeeping assistants in check.

WINE KEEPER

THE Yeoman of the royal cellars is in charge of the Palace’s wine vaults, the oldest part of the building, below its west wing, dating from 1760.

The amount of alcohol assessed is vast: the royal household typically offers about 5,000 bottles of wine to guests at more than 300 events a year.

Since 2002 the position has been held by robert Large, who began his career as a waiter before becoming conference manager for a catering company.

It was he who selected the £30-a-bottle Pol roger champagne for William and kate’s wedding in 2011, and decided that special edition bottles of moet would be drunk at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee picnic the following June.

OFFICIAL TWEETER

IF, LIKE Prince harry’s girlfriend and Instagram aficionado meghan markle, writing snappy updates on social media is your scene, the head of digital enhancement position might appeal.

The role, which commands a salary of £45,000 to £50,000, was advertised last April, with the successful applicant tasked with ‘finding new ways to maintain the Queen’s presence in the public eye’.

helpfully, the Queen isn’t short of followers. The @royalFamily Twitter account — active since April 2009 — has 2.86 million of them, and although the Queen sent her first tweet in 2014, she probably doesn’t have time to chart her every appearance online.

The job is not for the faint-hearted, as the current occupant of the post, named only as rachel on the royal household website, knows only too well.

Describing the job as ‘nerve-racking’, she explains: ‘Announcements make front-page news, and Facebook posts reach tens of millions of followers.’

ART HELPER

NOT to be accused of shunning well- educated, but inexperienced, millennials, the monarchy even offers internships.

Last October, the royal collection Trust — a department of the royal household — recruited an intern for the Prints and Drawings team, responsible for the royal collection of 150,000 drawings, watercolours and prints, dating from 1450.

The nine- month placement, part of ‘a rolling programme of curatorial internships’, requires a ‘demonstrable interest in European and art history’ and offers a £16,087.50 salary.

The successful applicant would help to display works of art within the royal residences and catalogue new additions to the collection.

no job is guaranteed at the end of the nine months, though.