Daily Mail

AND FINALLY Being soppy is NOT a sign of weakness


IT’S not my habit to read online comment (incidental­ly MailOnline doesn’t run comments on this column, as vulnerable people who have poured out problems to me could be put at risk by nastiness), but occasional­ly I take a look.

A week ago, I wrote an article for the Mail criticisin­g some of the vulgar Mother’s Day cards on sale — grim products using four-letter words. Naturally, many people disagreed, which is their right: if you want to tell your mother you’re glad you ‘fell out of her vagina’, then be my guest. I don’t take ‘offence’ at this stuff — just wonder why anyone would bother.

But I will take issue with those people who said their mothers prefer that kind of nasty ‘humour’ to ‘soppy’ cards. It’s strange that ‘soppiness’ is a term of abuse here, when as a nation we’re pretty soppy in other ways. After all, to give one sad example, teddy bears and messages about angels abound after a car crash.

So why is a straightfo­rward message of affection dismissed as ‘soppy’?

Was it ‘soppy’ for my 37-yearold daughter to choose a card showing a map beneath the message ‘Mum I’d be Lost Without You’? And was there anything unacceptab­ly sentimenta­l about the laconic message my son (43) chose: ‘Mum — Loved you yesterday / Love you still / Always have / Always will’ — on a plain card?

Coincident­ally both scrawled the same words inside: ‘The card says it all.’ That’s what any mum wants to hear — that she did something right. No need to talk about her private parts.

I’ve been writing an advice column for 12 years, which convinces me that if more people were able to express real emotions to those they love then the world would be a much happier place.

Why be afraid of expressing deep feelings? The most wonderful best man’s speech I ever heard was by a shavenhair­ed rugger player who had the courage to tell the groom how much he (yes!) loved him.

BEL answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationsh­ip problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. A pseudonym will be used if you wish. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspond­ence.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United Kingdom