Apostrophe avenger
The hooded crusader who corrects rogue punctuation under the cover of darkness
IT is the city home to the elusive guerilla artist Banksy.
But now there is another hooded crusader prowling the streets of Bristol – a grammar vigilante who has been defending locals from the scourge of rogue apostrophes.
By day, he is a highly-qualified professional engineer whose extraordinary double life is known only to a handful of family and friends. But under cover of night, he roams the city streets in search of erroneous apostrophes on street signs and shop fronts.
Shrouded in a black hoodie and hat, he goes out armed with an eight-foot long ‘apostrophiser’ and stepladder which he uses to reach the highest signs.
The vigilante has used stickers to cover up or add apostrophes to dozens of signs around the city. But he denies it is a crime to improve grammatical standards.
The man, who asked to remain anonymous, said: ‘I’m a grammar vigilante. I do take it to heart – I think it’s a cause worth pursuing. People might say what I am doing is wrong, but it is more of a crime to have the apostrophes wrong in the first place.’
The vigilante was spurred into action in 2003 when he spotted a council sign that read ‘Open Monday’s to Friday’s’ and another sign for ‘Amys Nail’s’. He said: ‘It was just so in- your- face I just couldn’t abide it.’
Since then, he has corrected other mistakes which included: ‘Vicenzo and Son Gentlemens Hairstylists’, ‘ Herberts the Bakery’ and a greengrocer’s advert for ‘potato’s’.
He takes care to make his corrections fit in by using the same typeface and colour as the original signs. One of his most recent corrections was to Cam- bridge Motors garage, where an errant apostrophe in ‘Motor’s’ had annoyed him for years.
Owner Chris Knight said he was grateful for the vigilante’s work. He said: ‘It’s good to see people still caring about English grammar.’ Another recent correction was made to a shop called Tux & Tails, where ‘gentlemans outfitters’ was changed to ‘gentleman’s outfitters’.
Shop director Jason Singh, 42, said: ‘I have mixed feelings over it really. He could have let me know before doing it, which would have been more professional.
‘It was quite a new sign. We rebranded ten months ago.
‘I did check over it and didn’t really think it needed an apostrophe.’
The vigilante denied breaking the law and admitted he does worry about being caught.
He said: ‘I think you can do it without causing too much offence… I have felt extremely nervous. My heart has been thumping. I’ve got to make sure it’s technically right.
‘When I look at a sign and I have been the one that’s made it grammatically correct, it does make my heart swell slightly when I see the correct apostrophe.’
He added: ‘What I’m doing is sticking on a bit of stickybacked plastic.
‘It is a worse crime to have all these errant apostrophes and I just think it is going to teach the youth of tomorrow the wrong grammar.’
A documentary on the man called ‘The Apostrophiser’ was broadcast last night on BBC Radio Four.
‘I think it’s a cause worth pursuing’