OSCAR CAINER

The Sun is entering Taurus, which is good news for Taureans. Actually, it’s good news for everyone who enjoys the finest fruit that life has to offer. Don’t be surprised if things get a little sweeter. This is the astrological equivalent of sugar in your tea, extra cheese on your pizza, or chocolate frosting on your ice cream. We just have to be careful that we don’t gorge on life so enthusiastically we become uncomfortable! Banquet, by all means, but leave some room to manoeuvre. ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 YEARS ago, Michael Winner, the cult British director, featured on adverts urging people to ‘calm down, dear’ after a minor prang with their car. Now, I don’t want to be patronising and use this phrase — after all, this is not about car insurance, but celestial reassurance. As the Sun moves on from your sign, you may be worried that a cosmic guarantee is running out. It’s not. It’s just that the nature of the payout is about to change. There’s no reason to worry. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5601. TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21 HAVE you noticed your forecasts are taking a very upbeat tone this week? Optimistic interpretations of astrological influences have always been the ‘Cainer way’. But, with your discriminating demeanour, perhaps you think: ‘Oh, he’s just being cheerful. I’d best not take this too seriously.’ Fine! Then don’t! Better by far if you take this (and everything else) lightly. That really will make a difference. And with your ruler, Venus, now progressing, it’s high time you got to enjoy life a little more. As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5602. GEMINI May 22 — June 22 WHAT do you prefer with your hotdog? Ketchup or mustard? When I chew on a veggie-dog, I like it to have a dollop of red and yellow on top. But I don’t mind either way. Now, I suspect you’re asking yourself harder questions than these. And they probably have more riding on them than which condiments complement your sausage. It’s interesting how much more easily we reach decisions when we don’t mind the outcome. You’ll soon find it easier to get what you want. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June 23 — July 23 COMPOSER

Mike Batt was once sued by the musician John Cage over copyright. Batt had released a track of recorded silence, and Cage had done the same, many years earlier. It caused a stir when, on the steps of the High Court, they told the Press that they’d come to a six-figure settlement. Except they hadn’t — it was all a brilliant publicity stunt! You really aren’t

under anyone’s thumb. And you’re worrying too much about a problem you haven’t got

— and aren’t going to get. As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5604. LEO July 24 — Aug 23 ‘LISTEN all you fools out there, go on and love me, I don’t care. Oh, it’s lonely at the top!’ Randy Newman’s lyrics satirise the woes of the elite, problems many of us would love to have. But I don’t want to belittle the issues you’re going through. I know they’ve taken their toll. Today, rather than focusing on what’s wrong, remember what you can be thankful for. Appreciate your troubles, not because they’re insignificant, but because you’re being given the authority to solve them. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5605. VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23 EVERYONE’S a critic. Just go on the internet and look up a book or a movie and read the comments: ‘We loved it’; ‘We hated it’; ‘Best ever’; ‘Waste of time’. Do we even know whose opinions we’re reading? Do we care? Perhaps not, but we’re influenced all the same. Yet we’re all individuals: what works for you may not work for me — and vice versa. With Mercury retrograde, being empowered by the Sun, be wary of finding too much fault with your current situation. Keep an open mind. As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5606. LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 WE ALL have people in whom we are emotionally invested. But, sometimes, fate throws together strange bedfellows. And, sometimes, those fellows are so strange that it’s hard to imagine sharing a continent with them, let alone such an intimate item of furniture. The planets encourage you to align more closely with someone you wouldn’t normally choose to be close to. If you can bridge the gap, this is a partnership that will not only grow strong, but will be positively productive. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5607. SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22 THE Grand Canyon? The black hole at the centre of our galaxy? These are but small divisions, mere eyelets in the fabric of reality. If there truly is a yawning chasm, it’s the gulf between what we think we’re supposed to be doing and what we actually do. Reconcile these two things . . . if you dare! With your ruler turning retrograde, you may worry that it’s impossible. But that shouldn’t stop you trying. Nor will it stop you from beating yourself up when you spot the difference. That gap is not as big as you fear! As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5608. SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 THEY say that if you love your job, you’ll never work again. Yet everyone’s work has some monotony. We all have routine tasks that let us function. We don’t consider being fed intravenously just because we’re bored of brushing our teeth! And neither should you decide to give up on something just because you’re dealing with its more mundane aspects. Even intrepid adventurers have to go shopping for hats and whips now and then. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5609. CAPRICORN Dec 22 — Jan 20 TO HAVE power is to have responsibility. To have power, but to pretend to yourself that you have none, is to abdicate that responsibility. You have power now. You even have power over a person who thinks they have all the power. You have similar power over the outcome of a crucial situation, despite your doubts. You can choose to wait and see what happens, but this is not the only option. With Pluto about to turn retrograde, you can sit on your hands — or you can reach out and grab your destiny. As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5610. AQUARIUS Jan 21 — Feb 19 IN TOLKIEN’S masterpiece, Gollum called the magic ring his ‘precious’. He coveted it and, when he possessed it, he hid it from the world. This was made easier because the ring could make him invisible. Yet it drove him insane. Luckily, I don’t see you living under a mountain full of goblins, eating raw fish and scaring away visitors anytime soon. But is a refusal to open up limiting your ability to be happy? Be generous now, and what’s truly precious will become clear. Need something to change? As Venus moves forward, she brings inspiration. Find out more in your latest four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5611. PISCES Feb 20 — Mar 20 IF IT’S not all going to be OK, what else will it be? All bad? ‘All’ is a very big word. It encompasses so much. It’s simply too big for bad! Into the word ‘all’, you can fit every ounce of sadness, disappointment, misery and pain this world has ever known or will ever know. Yet there’s still room for all the light, all the love, all the joy, all the magic, all the meaning and all the hope that’s ever existed and will ever exist. Let that be your ‘all’ today. With Venus in your sign, it’s all you need to be aware of! As Venus, the planet of love, moves forward again, make this week special. Find out how in your latest forecast. Call 0906 751 5612.