Teen girls must stop being so sensitive
And start learning to celebrate themselves
POSH SPICE went to Buckingham palace this week to collect her OBE and tell fans that ‘if you dream big and work hard you can achieve great things’. By a piercing quirk of coincidence, barely had the words fallen from her vermilion lips than an international survey was published revealing that British teenage girls are among the most miserable in the world.
all those years of girl power and what have we got? a generation who are unhappy, worried, at risk from cyberbullying, suffering from eating disorders and becalmed by low self- esteem. Hopelessly hooked on social media, they compare their lives with those of rich, glamorous women such as Victoria Beckham — women who have found it professionally lucrative to market themselves and their fabulous lifestyles online under the guise of camaraderie — and find their own ordinary lives wanting.
it is so sad. all these adolescents, unaware of their own potential and utter loveliness, condemning themselves to wither on the vine before they’ve had a chance to bloom.
The research by the Organisation for economic Co- operation and Development showed that Britain came fourth out of 49 countries when it came to the highest proportions of girls who felt unsatisfied. How shocking that only South korea, Turkey and Tunisia had higher figures.
To be born British remains a great stroke of good luck. Despite its flaws, our country is still a place of prosperity, opportunity and relative stability; free from tyranny, plague and warring factions (but only if you exclude nicola Sturgeon on all those counts).
Yet this isn’t enough for troubled teens, who look at the world with a jaundiced eye and whose glass is permanently half empty.
i have my suspicions about polls, especially those which seem to be more about the organisations that hold them than the small percentage of people who take part. Yet more than half a million girls contributed to this study, and clearly something fundamental has fractured in the teenage experience.
Just this week there was an inquiry into the death of a 15-year- old in the north of england who threw herself in front of a train after a history of anorexia.
Meanwhile, a 14-year- old from Huddersfield ran away from home with a man who has yet to be identified. She has been found safe and well, thank goodness.
There will always be troubled girls, wild girls, girls who need help. Yet this widespread unhappiness is new; a bleak malaise magnified by the prism of social media.
With one click, girls are ushered inside the riches and privilege of a kardashian world where handbags cost £10,000 and everything seems possible. With another click, a superhighway of bullying and worse courses straight into their bedrooms.
according to the survey, British teens were the highest users of the internet, a factor directly linked to their depression. girls from much poorer countries where people have a stronger sense of family — including Bulgaria, Thailand, poland and Mexico — were far happier. THE survey also revealed that British girls are among those most likely to report mental health problems because of bullying. But how much of that is merely the misery of adolescence?
When princes Harry and William, and now the Duchess of Cambridge, are suddenly discussing their respective psychological issues and feelings, are we not in danger of overstating the case about ‘mental health’, especially in relation to teenagers?
perhaps parents could do more to help their daughters navigate the darker corners of the internet — but equally, i think we have to stop nudging young women into the comforting but dead- end embrace of victimhood.
The thought of any child being bullied is upsetting, but look closely at this survey and you will see the bullying issues cited include ‘being pushed’, having ‘ things stolen’ and ‘rumours spread’ at school.
Unpleasant, yes, but isn’t this part of the casual brutality of adolescence, rather than an opportunity to sign up for a lifetime’s appointments with a shrink, his forehead creased with worry as he hears about how Susan in chemistry class twanged your tights and called you ‘pizza face’?
There are a lot of unhelpful pressures on young girls. But instead of everyone wallowing in misery, wouldn’t it be better to teach them that life is about surviving hardships, coping with personal injustices and overcoming adversity?
it is about being strong, not weak.
and it doesn’t help when Victoria Beckham chirps about dreaming big and working hard, facilitating the lie that anyone can achieve what she has with just a little spit and application.
it would be more honest if she confessed that signing to showbiz Svengali Simon Fuller was the key to her success, and that he stretched her thin talent into a multi-millionpound business.
Managing expectations? perhaps that is the key. girls — and boys — may be under new pressures, but too many just expect to be happy and gratified in a way that generations before them did not.
Yes, some people suffer a massive trauma such as the loss of a parent and will always struggle to get over that. But for the rest, contentment is something that has to be worked towards.
it will never be attained if you treat every bump on the road to nirvana like a major tragedy, not a hiccup. So learn from adversity. navigate the doldrums of despair. and stop being so sensitive!