AND FINALLY The pillars on which I build my life
LAST week I wrote about embracing change: never saying ‘never’ (as in ‘I’d never vote Tory’) or ‘always’ (as in ‘I always go for tall men’) because such intransigence can drastically limit life.
After all, when huge changes hit us (from children leaving home to divorce and bereavement) we’re arguably more able to survive the dark days if we see life as fluid, not fixed.
But having said that, I started to think about the constants: those aspects which remain steady — despite shifts embraced by the creative and flexible mind.
Last week, I told of changes in terms of politics, religion and lifestyle (town versus country). This week I’m thinking of the constants that define me. You might agree with a couple of these . . .
FAMILY: I’m all too aware that home life can be a nightmare; my own (since childhood) has had a good share of complications . . . but I still believe the family is the bedrock. Oh, and if you want kids, why not show commitment and get married?
EDUCATION: Traditional, rigorous high standards, respect for teachers, discipline (in teachers as well as pupils), really hard work . . . it’s how it was in the state system in the Fifties and early Sixties, and I’m grateful.
THE ARTS: Since childhood I’ve loved painting, drawing, writing and (although I don’t play an instrument) music. These things, plus dance, nurture the human spirit — and should be open to every child. But let them be critical, too — and not buy fatuous theories that Damien Hirst can be equated to Leonardo da Vinci.
CULTURE: By this I mean the broad beliefs and ways of living that shape a nation. In spite of the way our society has shifted (too far), I’m passionately proud of this as a Christian culture and a monarchy, as well as a parliamentary democracy.
Those are my precious barricades — to be defended.
BEl answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, london W8 5TT, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. a pseudonym will be used if you wish. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.