Throw your toys out of the pram!

And four other ways acting like a toddler could be the key to success, according to an intriguing new book

PERHAPS it’s not surprising that someone who founded a baby and toddler food company should believe we have a lot to learn from children.

In 2006, I launched Ella’s Kitchen which over the last decade has become a multi-million pound, award-winning brand, available in more than 40 countries.

As a result, I’ve spent quite a lot of time with toddlers. And, while the common view is that adults represent the peak of mental and physical development and that small children slowly gain the skills and maturity needed to live independently, I’ve started to see things differently. Toddlers aren’t just trainee adults, they’re extraordinary people in their own right: their creativity, curiosity, determination, ambition and sociability should be the envy of many adults.

Toddlers see the world differently. Their lives are simpler, and so is their approach — they act on their instincts and pursue their goals with rigour and determination. And while those goals might be simple ones — to climb out of the cot, attract a parent’s attention or watch their favourite TV programme — the principles are just the same as we need to succeed in our lives.

don’t believe me? Here are five ways to start thinking like a toddler that I firmly believe will make you happier and more successful …

TRUST YOUR GUT When it comes to decisions, eat it or spit it out.

AS ADULTS, we tend to agonise over difficult decisions; to seek reassurance and hedge our bets. We see complexity and uncertainty, whereas for toddlers the world is a place of clarity and simplicity: play with this toy or throw it aside; eat this food or spit it out; make friends with this person or ignore them.

For toddlers, decision-making isn’t a long process, it’s based on a gut reaction that isn’t inhibited by an awareness of the consequences, or a fear of what other people might think or say.

We, however, crave something that often does not exist: the objectively correct decision, one weighed and reached through careful reasoning and deduction.

of course, in all our lives there are right and wrong decisions and you don’t always have the luxury of knowing which is which until after you’ve made them.

You can weigh up the options all you like, but no amount of analysis can help you see into the future. At some point, you just have to be guided by your instinct about the right thing to do. MAKE A DECISION LIKE A TODDLER: do you want to do it? does it feel like the right thing to do? Can you live with the consequences?

GET CREATIVE StOp being constrained by convention — play with the toys upside down.

WE PUT creativity on a pedestal, celebrating inventors and dreamers as people with minds and visions we can’t hope to come close to. But toddlers give the lie to the idea that creativity is an inherent gift bestowed only upon the lucky few.

They don’t consult instruction manuals, or play with their toys as the designers intended. They defy convention because they don’t know it exists.

And sometimes, by doing things differently — trying what seems natural and interesting — they achieve something the rules could never have led them to.

Creativity doesn’t have to be about transforming the world. It can be the small, incremental but important modifications that unlock new ideas and better results.

You might not feel like someone who is subject to constraints. But when was the last time you tried to run a meeting in a totally different way or used a weekend to do something you have never done before? As toddlers we played, explored and questioned more. As adults, we not only mostly abandon play, but also become more accepting of the way things are, and in doing so, lose our creativity.

DISRUPT CONVENTION LIKE A TODDLER:

If something doesn’t seem right to you, do what a child would do: point it out, tell other people and start a conversation.

THINK BIG Whatever the situation, bite off more than you can chew.

AS TODDLERS, our instincts were generally to set ourselves challenges we couldn’t yet achieve — we climbed to places we couldn’t reach, attempted complicated jigsaw puzzles, tried to use cutlery when we couldn’t get any food on the spoon.

We were ambitious and had big goals. We learned from the things we got wrong and were driven by a dissatisfaction at our limitations and an ambition to acquire new skills. When we decided to do something, we would dive right in, whether we were equipped for the task or not.

Adults often lose this ambition, but you need to have high aspirations and risk biting off more than you can chew. That doesn’t mean jumping at every opportunity, or rashly pursuing new goals when conditions are adverse.

But sometimes you need to dive into situations you don’t feel entirely comfortable with or prepared for. If you only ever step on ground you know to be rock solid, you’re not going to get particularly far, or at least not quickly.

What you need is a guiding principle around what you want to achieve, and then the ambition to pursue it in ways that may occasionally scare you. BE BRAVE LIKE A TODDLER:

We often think that we can’t do things, when we’re just too afraid to try. don’t intimidate yourself out of doing something before you have even given it a go.

STAY STUBBORN When you fall over, keep getting up.

ANYONE who has ever looked after young children knows that toddlers are synonymous with stubbornness.

You introduce a new food, interrupt an important cartoon or confiscate a favourite toy at your peril. Feet can be stamped, tears shed and the screams sometimes seem like they will never end.

A toddler mid-tantrum may not seem like the ideal role model (and I certainly don’t advocate throwing yourself to the ground and bawling the next time you don’t get your own way), but the flipside of the tantrum is the single- mindedness that predicates it.

While we should never lose control, we could all benefit from a little bit

of that determination and bloody- mindedness. Getting what you want in life demands a streak of real stubbornness, whether you’re trying to pass an exam, get a job, write a book, start a business or get back on your feet after illness or injury.

When the going gets tough, you have only your own determination to fall back on: your toddler self who would scratch and scream to get their way, no matter what.

And if the way you behave now might be different, that inner resolve is something to recapture and harness. BE RESILIENT LIKE A TODDLER: When you get a knockback, don’t just walk away. Either be persuasive enough to change minds, or phlegmatic enough to find a more willing audience elsewhere.

BE HONEST

Don’t pretend you’re happy with the blue truck when you really wanted the red one. Any parent will tell you that there is a bracing, sometimes hilarious, honesty about young children. If someone looks strange, or smells odd, that’s exactly what they will say, often in a loud voice in public.

But as we grow up, we develop an ever-stronger filter between what we think and what we say, judging when and in what circumstances we want to say things, and when not to say anything at all.

We become dishonest for any number of reasons: from not wanting to upset people or cause arguments, to lacking the confidence to put forward an alternative plan, to agreeing with something even when we think it’s wrong.

We tell people they are right, not always because we think they are, but because we want their approval, are afraid of their response, or simply can’t be bothered to argue.

Often, we follow the path of least resistance, keeping our thoughts and objections to ourselves and avoiding conflict.

yet, while white lies may make our lives easier, dishonesty can cause more problems than it prevents. Avoiding the argument can mean avoiding the problem, allowing it to fester and reach a point where the solution is more difficult than it would have been if addressed earlier.

Telling people you’re happy when you’re not means any problems are likely to be overlooked rather than dealt with — while not raising objections to a decision you disagree with means going along with something that could frustrate or upset you. TELL THE TRUTH LIKE A TODDLER: It might make you uncomfortable to confront problems, but left unaddressed they will often carry greater consequences.

P.S. HAVE FUN!

For toddlers, everything has the potential to be an adventure, from a trip to the park to a new toy or a new person to meet.

They explore the world through imagination and play, and they are very clear about what does and doesn’t interest them. If it’s not fun, and they won’t enjoy it, they’re not going to do it.

It’s worth looking at our everyday lives and working out how we can make the time to explore, laugh and relax.