Do I have a future with my cheating, cruel ex?

WHAT, I am wondering, can you possibly mean by the phrase, ‘a man of his calibre’?

I assume you’re rating his education and job — things that you, an accountant, respect and value.

But is that the full extent of the balance sheet? His social status in the credit column?

Because the debits have mounted up since the beginning of your relationship.

Item: he cheated and lied.

Item: he left you when you were pregnant.

Item: he treated you with neglect and cruelty.

Item: he therefore contributed to the death of a foetus conceived by irresponsible adults.

Item: he then had the nerve to contact you and suggest you pick up on this useless relationship.

Item: all of this — and at the same time he says he’s not sure he fancies you.

Oh, my sweet Lord, if that’s ‘a man of calibre’ and your ‘dream man’, then let me hang out with

the loving , sincere failures of this world.

Don’t think I’m not sympathetic to the fact that you were ill-treated by this person. Y et in truth, I’m far more exasperated that you can conclude your account sheet with a set of questions which no person with any judgment would dream of asking — given what ’s gone before.

Nothing adds up here. In your place, I’d be ‘scared of a life’ with this man who has hurt you so much — and would hurt you again. You are ‘foolish ’ to think for a second that there is any future with such a guy.

Since you’ve been having ‘exhilarating sex’ since the separation and abortion, I can only conclude that this whole experience didn ’t traumatise you too much.

Therefore, it ’s bizarre for you still to wonder about a future. What for? To mess up again?

No, attraction cannot return in circumstances like these — especially when it was never really there in the first place.

Remember, neither of you were entirely satisfied by sex with the other.

Yes, a couple might be able to ‘move on from a termination’, but only if there is a great love present, and the mutual, mature ability to make sense of love, loss, sorrow and guilt.

Do either of you really care much about what happened? I doubt it. Can you ‘ever trust him again ’? Only if you are a very misguided woman who seeks out hurt, wishes to be humiliated and is incapable of adding up two and two.

Time to reckon up — and close the account.