7 fashion faux pas

There are some things that the Parisienne simply can’t bring herself to wear.

PLATFORM TRAINERS

THEY might be super-trendy at times, but they will always remain clunky shoes that make for ungainly feet. Even on women with slender legs.

CULOTTES

I RECOMMEND these pant skirts to any woman who’s seeking a separation from her husband.

LONG DOWN-JACKETS

WHEN it comes to down jackets there are two possibilities: either an ultralight one that you slip on under your overcoat, or a short bulky one that you wear when you go skiing. A long jacket stuffed with feathers will give you a swollen figure. Which is fine if you’re vying for a job as the mascot of a tyre manufacturer.

CROCS

THEY may be sold by the thousands but we’ll never like them — even if they’re for a three-year-old and are to be worn indoors at the daycare centre. We must resist them. Style is something you can’t learn early enough.

CLEAR STRAP BRAS

PARISIENNES are highly allergic to these. We still don’t get why women who wear them think others won’t notice the plastic straps. If you really want to look like you’re not wearing a bra, just don’t wear one.

TAN-COLOURED TIGHTS

AS WITH the aforementioned clear bra straps, who do you think will believe your skin is that velvety? Nude stockings are far from being invisible, and on top of that they don’t keep you warm. Just wear black ones.

TOO MUCH SKIN

IT DOESN’T take much; wear a T-shirt that’s too short and a miniskirt, and in a flash you’ll have that reality TV look.