DATE DOCTOR’S VERDICT

Is one date enough to let the spark develop? our Dating Doctor, Alana Kirk, a single mother of three and a midlife dater herself, asks: can we be too quick to judge? IN THIS age of instant gratification, we are given to make decisions on the spur of the moment. Internet dating means potential life partners can be decided in a flippant click or a swipe. But are we swiping away potential? Is that the right approach for love?

Meeting a date for the first time can be complicated and stressful. We bring so many hopes and so much history with us that it can be hard to separate your own past experiences and expectations from the other person standing before you. How do we manage expectation and emotions, but also give the date a chance?

Dating requires courage and vulnerability. Taking that risk to shrug off the ‘I’m perfectly happy being single’ mask takes strength, especially when we have suffered heartbreak. We make huge assumptions about people based on our previous experiences, yet we have never met this person before.

Remember that we can be too hasty in a first date scenario. How different it is to meeting someone in a work or friendship setting where affection develops over time. Yet we are expected to make these judgments over a two-hour dinner? And remember, if someone does make a hasty decision, it is most likely about their own history rather than the thought of a future with you.