Charles said: Why are you always so miserable? Why can’t you be all jolly like Fergie?
The Queen thought Diana was neurotic. The Queen Mother disliked her. But, to Diana’s fury, they thought Fergie was a riot
DESPITE her aristocratic background, Diana was never comfortable in the Royal Family — and they in turn never understood her. As she revealed to royal author Andrew Morton in 1991, in tape recordings she insisted be kept secret, the Queen was firmly of the opinion that the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage was due to Diana’s bulimia. But as Morton’s sensational book — Diana, Her True Story — made clear, the real reason was that Charles had resumed his affair with Camilla Parker Bowles. Now, 20 years after her death, the book is being republished, with transcripts of her tapes. Today’s extract focuses on her relationship with the Royals — and how jealous she was of Fergie.
Fergie and i met when Charles was getting close to me. She seemed to know all about the royal set-up, and she sat in the front pew at our wedding.
She came to lunch at Buckingham Palace and didn’t seem daunted by it all. i wasn’t quite sure how to take it.
(At pre-lunch drinks at Windsor, Fergie found herself seated next to Prince Andrew, on leave from his royal Navy flying duties. He teased her by trying to feed her chocolate profiteroles — and she refused, playfully punching his shoulder.)
i didn’t actually notice anything going on (between Fergie and Andrew) but then Andrew asked if he could bring Sarah to come and stay at Highgrove. They were all over each other.
Suddenly, everybody said: ‘ Oh, isn’t Fergie marvellous, a breath of fresh air — thank god she’s more fun than Diana.’
i felt terribly insecure. i thought maybe i ought to be like Fergie.
And my husband said: ‘i wish you would be like Fergie — all jolly. Why are you always so miserable? Why can’t you be like granny (the Queen Mother)?’
i’m quite glad i’m not like granny now. And i made so many balls-ups trying to be like Fergie.
i went to a pop concert (in 1987), David Bowie, with (my friend) David Waterhouse and (Princess Margaret’s son) David Linley. i went in leather trousers, which i thought was the right thing to do, completely putting out of mind that i was the future Queen — and future Queens don’t wear leather like that in public.
So i thought that was frightfully ‘with it’, frightfully pleased to act my own age. Slapped hands.
The same summer, at Ascot, i put somebody’s umbrella up somebody’s backside. (Photographers captured the moment when Diana and Fergie poked their friend Lulu Blacker with rolled-up brollies.)
in my astrological chart, (astrologer) Penny Thornton always said to me: ‘everything you will do this summer you will pay for.’ i did, definitely. i learned a lot.
i got terribly jealous of Fergie — and she got terribly jealous of me.
She kept saying to me: ‘ You mustn’t worry, Duch (Diana’s childhood nickname) — everything is going to be fine. Let me do this, let me do that.’
i couldn’t understand it: she was actually enjoying being where she was, whereas i was fighting to survive. i couldn’t understand how she could find it so easy. i thought she would be like me and put her head down and be shy.
No, a different kettle of fish altogether, and she wooed everybody in this family and did it so well. She left me looking like dirt. Up in Scotland, she used to do everything that i never did. So i thought: ‘ This can’t last; the energy of this creature is unbelievable.’
Meanwhile, everybody was looking at me — ‘it’s a pity Diana has gone so introverted and quiet; she’s so busy dieting and trying to sort herself out’. And then this holocaust (sic) arrived.
i knew eventually Fergie would turn round and say: ‘ Duch, how on earth have you survived all these years?’ She’s said it now for the last two years. i never explain. i just say: ‘it’s just happened.’
it’s fascinating watching Fergie trying to make her way. i’m in the wings, just watching her do it — it’s very clever. But it’s not recognised that it’s effort.
They think: ‘ Oh, isn’t it nice Sarah’s doing that!’ But you don’t get ten points for doing it. You don’t get one point.
(When Fergie agreed to take part in it’s A royal Knockout in 1987, organised by Prince edward) i said to Charles: ‘Why aren’t we being involved? Why aren’t we doing this?’
He said: ‘ You must be joking! Neither of us are doing it.’
Thank god we didn’t. We were so appalled when we saw it. But leading up to it, i didn’t want to be left out.
KOO WAS SO GOOD FOR ‘IDIOT’ ANDREW
ANDreW was very, very noisy and loud. it occurred to me that there was something troubling him. He wasn’t for me.
Andrew was very happy to sit in front of the television all day, watching cartoons and videos. He doesn’t like taking exercise — except he loves his golf and it’s rather touching.
But he gets squashed by his family the whole time. He’s dismissed as an idiot, but actually he’s very shrewd, believe it or not, and very astute.
The big brother (Charles) was very jealous (of Andrew going to the Falklands War in 1982 as a helicopter pilot) because he wanted to go out and do something.
Sweet Koo (Andrew’s ex-girlfriend Koo Stark, an American film actress) adored him.
She was terribly good to have around. Very gentle and looked after him. All her energies were directed at him. Very quiet. They suited each other so well. Met her lots of times.
THE QUEEN SAW ME AS A THREAT
THe relationship certainly changed when we got engaged because i was a threat, wasn’t i?
i admire her. i’ve always said to her: ‘i’ll never let you down, but i cannot say the same for your son.’ She took it quite well. She does relax with me.
She indicated to me that the reason why our marriage had gone downhill was because Prince Charles was having such a difficult time with my bulimia.
She told me that. She hung her coat on the hook, so to speak.
And it made me realise that (the royal Family) all saw that as the cause of the marriage problems, and not one of the symptoms.
i kept myself to myself. i didn’t knock on her door and ask her advice, because i know the answers myself.
i get on very well with them (the Queen and Prince Philip), but i don’t go out of my way to go and have tea with them.
A HATCHET JOB — BY MY GRANDMOTHER
ALL the Queen Mother’s household are anti me. My grandmother ( Lady Fermoy, the Queen Mother’s lady in waiting) has done a good hatchet job on me.
My mother and grandmother never got on. They clashed violently. Mummy sticks up for me, whereas my grandmother goes out to lacerate me at any opportunity.
She feeds the royal Family with hideous comments about my mother, about her running away and leaving the children. (Diana’s mother Frances was deeply unhappy in her marriage and in 1967 she left her husband, earl Spencer, for another man. She failed to get custody of the four Spencer children after her own mother testified in court on behalf of their father.) Whenever i mention my mother’s name within the royal Family, which i barely do, they come on me like a ton of bricks. So i can never do anything in that department.
They’re convinced she’s the baddie and that poor Johnnie (Diana’s father) had a very rough time. Now, i know it takes two to get in a situation like that.
The four of us (children) never knew what happened, and we don’t actually want to know.
But Mummy’s come off very badly because granny’s done a real hatchet job on her. And my husband won’t even talk to my mother.
PHILIP v CHARLES: IT WAS TRICKY
PriNCe Charles longs to be patted on the head by his father, while his father longs to be asked advice — instead of listening to Charles giving advice.
Very tricky. After all, it was my father-in-law who started off the
environmental thing, but it was Charles who got listened to.
I DON’T RATTLE ANNE’S CAGE
We’re always supposed to have had this tricky relationship. I admire her (Anne) enormously.
I keep out of her way, but when she’s there I don’t rattle her cage and she’s never rattled mine.
The (media) fuss about her not being godmother to Harry was never even thought about. I’d thought to myself: ‘There’s no point having anyone in the family as godparents, as they are either aunts or uncles.’
I said: ‘The Press will go for that,’ and Charles said: ‘ So what?’ (The Press) had this great thing about she and I not getting on. We get on incredibly well, but in our own way.
I wouldn’t ring her up if I had a problem, nor would I go and have lunch with her — but when I see her, it’s very nice. Her mind stimulates me. She fascinates me — she’s very independent and she’s gone her own way.
FATE PLAYED A HAND WITH HARRY
We Were the only people in the family to have two boys. The rest of the family had a boy and a girl, and we were the first to change — and I know fate played a hand there.
Harry’s a ‘back-up’ in the nicest possible way. I know we had two boys for a reason: William is going to be in his position much earlier than people think now. When Beatrice or eugenie are running around, I’ll say to Charles: ‘There you are, you missed that one.’ ‘What do you mean?’ And I’ll say: ‘Well, you could have had a daughter.’ ‘No, we’d have had a third boy.’ And I’d say: ‘ No, not necessarily.’
And sometimes, we get the albums out, of the boys, and he’ll tell me: ‘Oh, you were so good with them in the nursery — you were marvellous.’
I want to bring them up with
I said to the Queen, I’ll never let you down — but I cannot say the same for your son. She took it quite well
security, not to anticipate things, because they will be disappointed. That’s made my own life so much easier.
I hug my children to death. I get into bed with them at night, hug them and say: ‘Who loves you most in the whole world?’ And they always say: ‘Mummy.’ I always feed them love and affection — it’s so important.
I would never rattle their cage, the monarchy, because when I think the mother-in-law has been doing it for 40 years — who am I to come along and change it?
But through William learning what I do, and his father to a certain extent, he has got an insight into what’s coming his way.
He’s not hidden upstairs with the governess. I’ve chosen all the schools so far, and there was never any argument.
It was just Charles wanted them to be governessed here (at Kensington Palace), and I said: ‘No, they’ve got to go out (into the world) if they’re going to survive when they’re adults.’
THE TRUTH ABOUT THOSE YOUNG MEN
FergIe was asked by Charles to find two single men for our ski holiday in Klosters (in 1987). And both these young men came in and they were great fun, particularly David (Waterhouse, a major in the Household Cavalry).
I took an enormous shine to him, unfortunately. He made me laugh very much.
Philip (Dunne, a banker) was very sweet, but he didn’t have the charisma that David had. And we went off skiing, the four of us: ( my friend) Catherine Soames, David, Philip and I.
When we came back, I saw a lot of David, sometimes with or without Philip.
Then one weekend, we went to stay at gatley Park ( the Herefordshire home of Dunne’s parents, Thomas and Henrietta).
The Press got so excited, (even though) there must have been about 15 of us in the house. Philip was there, obviously, and David, as well. A lovely weekend.
And then the Press picked up on Philip. They knew it was one of them, but I think they just went for Philip because he was the better-looking. And that’s how everybody got excited (hinting at an affair).
I was totally shocked by the attention. (David was) laughing about it, thinking it was all funny, whereas I didn’t. When I went to the David Bowie concert, David Waterhouse, who I shouldn’t have taken anyway, came and sat on my right. The picture ran on every front page on Monday morning.
I was in tears. I was hysterical. I was horrified, mortified, cross with myself. I rang David up to apologise, and I got such a strange reply back.
‘Oh, it’s fine, it’s all right. I can cope with it.’
And I thought: ‘Wait a minute, he’s enjoying this.’
I was so naïve. He enjoyed the whole thing. And I absolutely loathed it.
But it was a foot on the outside, to have someone who said they actually liked being with me. And that, to me, meant everything.
FAMILY FEARS OVER VEGGIE CHARLES
I WAS accused very early on of stopping Charles shooting and hunting — that was total rubbish. I love being out all day. I love the stalking.
He suddenly went all vegetarian and wouldn’t kill.
His family thought he had gone mad, and he was ostracised within the family.
They couldn’t understand it, and they were fearful of the future — all the estates have things that need to be shot on them. So if the heir wasn’t going to take an interest, panic was going to set in.
It was an influence well before me, but it all came back eventually in his own time. He does that — he has these crazes and then he drops them.