Daily Mail

BUMBLE AT THE TEST

- By DAVID LLOYD

JONNY’S JUST SO GOOD

ALASTAIR COOK, Joe Root and Ben Stokes get the headlines, but Jonny Bairstow and Moeen Ali put in outstandin­g displays. Bairstow followed up his second-innings 51 with a terrific, one-handed catch down the leg side to dismiss Heineken — sorry, Heino Kuhn. If wicketkeep­ers could do lager,

hang on, that’s the other lot!

HAIL ATTACKING ALI

MOEEN ALI was a deserved man of the match, giving Root a great start to his Test captaincy. England have not beaten South Africa at Lord’s since 1960, so It was an impressive effort. Moeen’s bowling has come on leaps and bounds and he will be much clearer in his role now that Root wants him to be a genuinely attacking off-spinner.

BAD BOY RABADA

THERE has been a lot of reaction to the ban of Kagiso Rabada (right) but the teams were made aware about behaviour on the field, with demerit points issued for misdemeano­urs. An abusive send-off is unacceptab­le. Sport has standards to uphold. Look at rugby where, in my view, players have the utmost respect for the officials, each other and the game.

PITCH PERFECT

WHAT a terrific Lord’s pitch this was. There have been accusation­s in the past that it has been more friendly to the corporate fraternity than anyone. Not this one. There were runs to be had in the first innings and then the bowlers held sway. That is the way to go in Test matches.

IT’S FERGIE TIME FOR BATTING

I WENT further afield over the weekend to Notting Hill, where I bumped into football manager Alex McLeish, who regaled me with cricket stories about Sir Alex Ferguson (right). Fergie once organised a match at Aberdeen and insisted on opening the batting. One of his players demolished his stumps at the start of the game, so Fergie put them back and insisted the laws stated you cannot be out in the first over!

TOBY A SNIP AT £12m

AT THE same pub, a table of mature men were picking their fantasy teams for the coming football season and asked me to be guest auctioneer. I had to sell Tottenham’s Toby Alderweire­ld. My Sportsmail colleague Paul Newman insists he is the ‘best in the country’ and will be upset I sold him to a fella in a red shirt for £12million. Said ‘Emirates’ on the front.

PLASTIC’S NO GOOD

THAT Notting Hill’s a top spot. I went in a couple of pubs, which were packed, and was only allowed outside with a plastic glass. There was an old-fashioned jukebox and it was free! Chuck Berry was my choice: Johnny B Goode. Shame about the ale. It was a nice pint — but it should be at £6 a pop. And in a plastic glass! World’s gone mad.

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