Want to regain your youth? Find a friend half your age!
EVER since meeting on Strictly Come Dancing last year, Louise Redknapp, 42, and Daisy Lowe, 28, have been inseparable, going on holiday and endless nights out together. Their friendship is said to have led Louise to rediscover her youthful confidence. It
other friends, all younger than me, in a rousing rock anthem. It was the same story at my surprise 70th party. Georgia was the life and soul — egging me on to dance that little bit more, sing that little bit louder.
I need fixes of young people to give me ideas for my books, on what to wear, listen to, see — and, most importantly, to replenish my soul. My three daughters do it for me too, but it somehow works better with friends.
So, call me immature (surely, the ultimate compliment), but I say hurrah for younger friends, for life with them is never boring, and that’s the greatest of gifts.
The Woman In The Wood by Lesley Pearse (Michael Joseph), £18.99.
THEY ENLARGE MY LIFE Jo Foley
TraveL and wellness writer Jo Foley, 71, surrounds herself with younger friends. It’S a funny old thing, friendship. It appears to be a basic need in our psyche.
What is it for? Why do we need it? How do we find a friend?
the dictionary definition is basically ‘one who wishes you well’, ‘not an enemy’ or ‘one joined to another in mutual benevolence and intimacy’.
Without the intimacy, you could say the same about the butcher or the woman at the local dry cleaner. But friends play a significant part in our lives — especially if, like me, you don’t have children or a family close by.
the old adage is that you don’t choose your family, but you do choose your friends — those people you get on with, have much in common with, laugh and sometimes cry with.
Mostly, they are from your peer group, but I am lucky enough to have a few who are younger than me — one, at 28, much less than half my 71 years — and the striking thing is not that I have chosen them, but they have chosen me.
a couple, alex at 28, and Vin at 45, are the daughters of old friends, whom I have known all their lives from sweet six-yearolds to tragic teens and beyond.
Others I have acquired along the way, such as Jane (46) and Lisa (41) from work, and Peter (31) on my travels.
I have stopped asking them what they want, or get from me. It ain’t money, as I have told them I’m planning to die in debt, although when I downsized a few years ago, I invited them to take what they wanted, as nothing was coming to my new place with me.
the odd thing is they seem to like my company — not just as an old head to confer with, or a spongy shoulder to cry on, but to have a drink with, an outing with or to share a dinner and a laugh.
and no, I don’t do a Fergie and go partying with them. they’d be mortified if I suggested it, even though they do invite me to go on holiday with them.
they enlarge my life, constantly introduce me to new things and help me (occasionally) with my cack-handed efforts at using social media without being at all patronising.
One hit Primark and bought me the trainers and sunglasses that I had admired on her, another took me to my favourite restaurant, Colombe d’Or in the South of France, for my birthday, while a third introduced me to the delights of american comedian David Sedaris.
the Primark princess buys me caviar for Christmas, while the male in the ring cooks delicious suppers. they bring amusement, advice on anything from wine to builders, explain emojis and improve my terrible selfies.
Most of all they are kind and forgiving, they don’t bitch and they always find excuses for somebody’s bad behaviour.
My generation, long in the tooth, complain about everything. My young friends always find a reason why something isn’t what it is supposed to be, and move on. they are politically left and morally right. Perhaps it’s because they know time is on their side.
and finally, one of them is an executor to my will. When she discovered that I wanted my ashes to be flung into the atlantic, she volunteered her precious 2.55 Chanel bag in which to encase them. No greater love (I refused, naturally).
SHE’S HALF MY AGE BUT HAS TAUGHT ME SO MUCH Aggie MacKenzie
tV presenter and mother of two, Aggie MacKenzie, 61, is friends with tV director Jessica Fowler, 35. TWO friends are sitting together at a kitchen table. Fuelled by a little too much alcohol, they’re huddled over a laptop, shrieking and giggling as they browse men’s profiles on an online dating agency.
Music from electronic pop band Clean Bandit is blaring in the background. They both know they’re going to pay the price in the morning, but they don’t care, they’re having fun and they crack open that second bottle of wine.
it sounds like a typical scene in 20- and 30-something flat-shares up and down the country. But this one was set in the kitchen of a 61-yearold woman — a woman you might think was old enough to know better. she was being happily led astray by her 35-year-old friend.
That older woman was me, and my partner in crime was Jessica Fowler, my dear friend who is young enough to be my daughter.
Jess has been a close confidante and support to me since we met at work five years ago. Thanks to her, i have a new lease of life. she’s made me no longer afraid to take risks and face fears. saying ‘i’m too old to . . .’ is the sort of defeatist talk she simply will not tolerate.
in 2012, we worked together on iTV’s storage Hoarders. Jess, who’d just turned 30, was the director in charge of the production and, essentially, my boss.
We shared many long drives to farflung locations. Jess had just met her now husband, Charlie, and i, being a nosy, direct scot, used to get her to divulge every last detail of their blossoming romance.
although we barely knew each other, we seemed to share a mutual trust from the first, spending hours forensically dissecting everything — usually accompanied by raucous laughter.
Up until that point most of my friends had been my own age, but Jess and i forged an immediate bond despite the age difference.
i had recently divorced and was living in the family home with my two sons. Before Jess met Charlie, she’d dabbled in online dating and, seeing that i was at a standstill in my romantic life and unable to move forward, she encouraged me to have a go at it too.
away from work, we spent many entertaining evenings at my kitchen table, poring over profiles (most of the men not much younger than her dad), along with much pouring of wine (we share a similar capacity for alcohol. That’s all i’m saying).
i’ve always had a healthy social life, but it became even more frenetic as i tried to keep up with Jess and her pals and their late nights. i’m always up with the lark and would never take an afternoon nap.
Life’s one long round of activity and i’m a firm believer that the more you do, the more you are capable of doing. Having Jess in my life has simply reinforced this belief.
a couple of years ago, i mentioned that i fancied becoming a yoga teacher. Jess thought it a brilliant idea and has encouraged me every step of the way.
she has always made herself available for me to practise on. i taught her during her pregnancy last year, and, when she went into labour, she rang to ask me to come over to do a quick session. Her daughter was born that evening.
The funny thing is that since we met, our lifestyles have now almost completely reversed. My sons are adults and i am free to do whatever i like whenever i choose, while Jess is very much a mum and homemaker. i’ve now just completed my yoga teacher training (i was the oldest on the course, but no matter).
One of my fellow yogis shared a saying with me the other day: ‘The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift.’ i totally concur.
This is my mantra — i’m determined to stay strong, fit, youthful, full of fun and live life to the max. Plus, i’m looking forward to teaching Jess an advanced pose or two.
YOUNG PEOPLE REPLENISH MY SOUL Lesley Pearse
AUthOr and grandmother Lesley Pearse, 72, is friends with Georgia, 51. i’Ve always preferred being with people younger than myself. Maybe that sounds as if i haven’t grown up, but the truth is most of the people i know who are older than me — that is, over 72 — are boring.
There, i’ve said it! set in their ways, constantly talking about what’s wrong with them and having narrow minds. so many of them wear ugly ‘comfortable’ clothes, not ones they would look good in.
some older people become ridiculously frugal, too. While i have every sympathy with anyone on a tight budget, i know people who are wealthy yet won’t go to the theatre because the seats are expensive, won’t even buy a coffee when they are out or take a taxi home.
i know of someone so careful with cash that when her husband was to be knighted she wouldn’t even buy a new outfit for the ceremony.
such oldies can’t go out for a meal without their money- off vouchers, and at the meal discuss only the merits of the other bargain meals they’ve had. i refuse to join that set.
Younger people talk about travel, music, films, and they have ambitions. They don’t bow to traditions, they make up their own codes and rules. They still have romantic dreams. i love that.
so many of my own generation lead narrow, uneventful lives, very much like the ones their parents led.
My favourite younger person is georgia, who worked for me when i had a gift shop in Clifton, Bristol.
she was 23 then, i was 44. she wowed me with her zest for life, and we would laugh about things all day and be silly together. i used her name and character for my first book, georgia, and we are still friends some 25 years later.
she is dynamic, fun, caring, and each time i see her i feel rejuvenated. she’s always got big plans — and she makes them happen, too.
at my housewarming party, she led