Blind date MY
EvErY week, we send a couple out for dinner and report back on their blind date. This week, Faye Mansfield and John Denley went to the Crazy Bear in oxford. Faye, 42, works in Hr for a fire service and lives in Winslow, Buckinghamshire. She has been single or dating for the past few years, following the end of a long relationship.
John, 46, lives in Cirencester, Gloucestershire. A former IT consultant, he’s now a life coach and has never been married.
FAYE, 42, SAYS:
I’M A country girl at heart, and like nothing more than spending time with my horse and dog. Although I can be girly, I am more likely to be seen in jodhpurs, with mud on my face and straw in my hair!
I’ve yet to find the right person to settle down with, and internet dating scares me, so it’s been easier to be happy in my own company. But a blind date was the perfect way to try again, and has given me that push to get out there. Deep down, I would love to have someone in my life to share things with.
Despite not having dated for a while, I wasn’t nervous and picked out John at the bar as soon as I walked in. I knew what I was looking for, as I had been told he was very tall, so that made it easy.
I like a well-groomed man who is confident, without being arrogant. I’m generally happy and smiley, so don’t like pessimistic people — I prefer a bit of charm and a sense of humour. My first impressions were that John is a lovely, warm person. He immediately put me at ease.
The restaurant was intimate and quirky — perfect for a date. We both like food, so decided to go for the signature seven-course meal. I thought, if nothing else, it would give us something to focus on if the conversation dried up.
But, actually, we talked about lots of things. John is very welcoming and led a lot of the conversation, which I didn’t mind at all. We talked about holidays and our bucket lists: John has done lots of interesting things.
While there was no awkwardness, unfortunately there was no real banter or laughing, either. Despite John being such a lovely guy, I didn’t really fancy him. Although he is attractive, he’s not really my type and there was no ‘whoosh’ of passion.
His work is interesting, and he’s the sort of man with whom you can have a great chat. He didn’t ask many questions, but I didn’t mind that, as I like to get to know men a bit more.
He brushed over the fact he had some female friends who were ex-girlfriends, but I didn’t find out that much about his past.
But it was a pleasant evening and I’m glad I went. It reminded me it’s important to get out there and see where things go. That’s all you can expect from a date.
We ended the evening with a peck on the cheek and a ‘nice to meet you’. We left it very general, and I was happy with that — I feel I made a friend out of it. That’s not a bad outcome at all. LIKED? He was very chatty and easy to talk to. REGRETS? None. John’s a lovely man, though not for me. COFFEE OR CAB? Cab. VERDICT: 8/10
JOHN, 46, SAYS:
MY IDEAL woman would be tall, adventurous, easy- going and generally happy. I love to travel and I’d like to start a family, so ideally, I want someone looking for the same things.
While I’m still friends with most of my exes, I’ve never been married — I’ve just not met the right lady to whom I could see myself committing for the rest of my life.
Faye is very attractive and, if I had felt any flirtation from her side, I would have reciprocated.
I certainly wouldn’t have minded kissing her at the end of the evening, but I couldn’t read her feelings so, at the end of the date, I gave Faye my business card and said she could look me up on Facebook. I left it with her to see if she’d take it further.
During the date, I had become more and more attracted to Faye’s personality. While she is very good- looking, physical attraction is not as important to me as finding someone who is open-minded and interesting.
It took a while for her to open up, but when we discussed our bucket lists, I got a sense of how adventurous she is, which I found really attractive. I would happily have stayed longer, but we both had an early start the next day.
In the past, I’ve been useless at meeting women. I don’t do online dating any more, as I feel it’s completely broken as a platform — you end up competing against men who are willing to lie about both their age and appearance.
It just seems like a waste of time, especially for decent guys like me. And, of course, it makes women think all men are liars and cheats, so we get no chance.
A blind date was a big step for me. I started getting nervous Faye wasn’t going to turn up, as she was a few minutes late. It was a relief when she walked in.
I have to say, there wasn’t a big spark, but it felt easy-going. I’m a good conversationalist, and I asked Faye if she wanted a drink. When she asked for bubbly, I suggested she order a glass of champagne. Then we had a slightly awkward moment when she asked what I do for a living.
JoB is quite complicated — I used to be an IT consultant, and still do that on the side, but I’m now a mindset specialist focused on helping people improve their communication and relationships. I tried to explain, and Faye did seem interested. But it felt like I was talking too much and not asking enough about her.
The restaurant was unusual, and I liked how cosy it felt. The seven- course taster meal was fantastic. But about half-way through, I realised it felt more like friends getting to know each other. There were no exciting flashes of passion. I kept wondering if I should be flirting more!
However, I really liked the blind date format — it’s far more preferable to judging on looks alone. I wish there’d been more of a spark, but it was a really good night.
And Faye has now made contact on Facebook, so hopefully we can keep in touch. LIKED? Her smile and the fact she was easy to talk to. REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee. VERDICT: 8½ /10
John’s a lovely guy but I didn’t really fancy him If Faye had flirted with me, I’d have flirted back . . .