Straight to the POINT

÷ ORDER of the Garter for Tony Blair (Letters)? Order of the boot more like it! JOHN EVANS, Wokingham, Berks. ÷ THE reason Tory MEP Charles Tunnock is opposed to Brexit (Mail) is because when we leave the EU he will no longer be able to ride the gravy train. MICHAEL J. LOCKE, Gillingham, Kent. ÷ A PYTHON in the toilet (Mail)? I once found a snake curled up on the bonnet of my car. It was a vindscreen viper. DAVID S. WILLCOCKS, Congleton, Cheshire. ÷ I COME from a family of travelling showmen and we have an old Romany word to describe a fool. Strangely enough, it’s Goop — the name of Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website. BEVERLEY CASSIDY, Chandlers Cross, Herts. ÷ WITH her bare midriff and trendy jeans at 70, Felicity Kendal looks great. Or would Amanda Platell prefer her to wear trousers with an elasticated waist and a fleece? CHERRY GREEN, Norwich. ÷ HOW do you make a Maltese cross? Thrash them in the World Cup qualifiers. MICHAEL CARR, Ashford, Kent. ÷ HAS stress become the new back pain? MIKE CATTERALL, Accrington, Lancs. ÷ ONE thing that was missing from the list of things that make us grumble at work (Mail) is when someone else nabs your allocated parking space.

PAUL CRACKNELL, Stamford, Lincs. FOR permission to copy cuttings for internal management and information purposes, please contact the Newspaper Licensing Agency (NLA), PO Box 101, Tunbridge Wells TN1 1WX. Tel: 01892 525273. e-mail: copy@nla.co.uk