Money can’t fill huge void in your life when you retire
IT was the daytime television that brought it home to me. I found myself sitting around the house staring at the screen a lot, while my wife was out at work.
That was when I knew what a huge hole there was in my life — when playing football was no longer a part of it.
You’ve won huge trophies with Nottingham Forest, played for arsenal and Manchester United, and represented your country 30 times. But suddenly you’re 38 years old, football is all you’ve known since the age of 10 and you’re no longer even the main breadwinner. I tell you, there are a lot of years stretching out ahead of you in a moment like that.
It’s one of the reasons why I understand totally why Rio Ferdinand has taken the decision to move into a career in boxing. He’s 38, too — as I was when my playing days suddenly came to an end at Middlesbrough. at least I could fall back on a domestic setup. Ferdinand is still coming to terms with the loss of his wife. He lost his mother this summer, too.
Football might bring an income beyond belief these days but believe me, money counts for nothing when, as an ex-footballer, you’re trying to find a sense of purpose again. I can’t begin to imagine how it would be to lose those who have meant most to you at a time like that.
I’m 61 now and life is good but I remember the structure I lost when my playing career ended. From the age of 17 at Forest, I’d been into training half an hour earlier than everyone else because of the gym work I always needed to do after dislocating my kneecap. But it is also the competitive edge that you miss.
I’m involved in a new organisation, called Playon (playonpro.net), which offers former players the type of community they had in the dressing room and the chance to play in senior tournaments. It took us to a football sevens’ event in Hong Kong recently. some well-known names were there with us — Phil Babb, David James, Colin Hendry, Lee Hendrie, Des walker — and I was struck by one conversation we had as we sat around.
‘This time next year we’ll be fitter because we want to win it,’ said one of the lads. we’d only been playing in front of a few thousand people! That old competitive instinct never leaves you.
when the buzz is extinguished, you naturally look for replacements. as one psychologist said after we began work setting up Playon: ‘If there’s no competitive crisis, you’ll create one.’
In the worst cases, the substitutes can be substance abuse or gambling. For a few players, the emptiness is simply too much to take. These cases are mercifully few and far between but Dave Clement, the former QPR player, was dead at the age of 34. He took his own life because his career ending had overwhelmed him.
Even when you do have a family to fall back on, you find that your partner’s life has perhaps changed and they have grown older separately, while you have been busy being a sportsman. Did you know that a third of Premier League players are divorced within 12 months of retiring, according to one study last year? I see some people are saying Ferdinand is moving into boxing for the money, with a bookmaker ready to pay him £250,000 to take the risk. well, I would say that’s a very short-sighted view indeed.
Ferdinand has money, media work and a fashion label but nothing in the world compares with the sensation of being out there, in the arena, making the decisions and living with the consequences.
In our own way, we’re all looking to preserve that sensation for as long as we can.
For a few players, the emptiness is too much to take. They find the end of their career overwhelming