I CAN’T SPEND EVERY DAY ASKING WHY HE DID IT. THAT WOULD BRING ME DOWN AND I WON’T ALLOW THAT
Jonny Bairstow was eight when he came home to find his dad had killed himself. His mum was battling cancer at the time. Here’s their incredible story
Jonny Bairstow is brimming with his customary enthusiasm as he makes suggestions on the best locations at Headingley for our photoshoot before, politely but firmly, rejecting one possible picture of his mother Janet.
‘no,’ says the man who has become one of England’s best and most important cricketers. ‘ Mum looks sad in that one. this is not about sadness. it is far more than that. we want to look happy today.’
we are at the historic home of the yorkshire club, that both Jonny and his dad David before him have graced, on a bright, crisp autumnal morning to talk about Bairstow Jnr’s extraordinary new memoir. it is Jonny who takes the lead role in the picture process, helping photographer andy Hooper lug his equipment all round Headingley, and it is Jonny who quickly recognises the significance of the Leeds sunshine. ‘the book is called A Clear
Blue Sky and that’s what’s above Headingley at the moment,’ says Jonny. ‘Let’s take some pictures outside.’ Mum, meanwhile, is a little concerned about walking on an outfield soaked with early morning dew but once the Headingley groundsman gives his all clear, she is content to follow. what unfolds is a compelling, often emotional, but always uplifting morning in the company of a mother and son who, along with sister Becky, have overcome the harshest of adversities to enjoy success and, most importantly, happiness.
A Clear Blue Sky, to be serialised in Sportsmail starting tomorrow, is more than just a cricket book. it is essentially the story of how the Bairstows have coped with the very worst that life could throw at them, from David’s suicide almost 20 years ago to Janet’s two battles with cancer.
But, much more, it is the inspirational tale of a small family with a close bond who have come through the darkness and want to tell the world that, however bad things are, up above the clouds there is always a clear blue sky. as Jonny says: ‘Most people believe their family is special. i know mine is.’
at the centre of this incredible story is Janet, a well-known and popular figure at Headingley through her work as a cricket administrator for yorkshire but now, a little reluctantly, thrust into the spotlight. ‘i usually prefer to stay in the background,’ she says before joining the son she always calls Jonathan to discuss their story and the sensitive way it has been told with the help of outstanding co-writer Duncan Hamilton. so why, after almost 20 years, have the Bairstows decided to reveal details of how David, at 46, took his own life the day before Janet’s 42nd birthday at a time when she was suffering from the first of the two bouts of cancer which she has fought so courageously and beaten? ‘there was no real reason to do it now to be honest,’ says the man who will be a key figure in England’s attempt to retain the ashes this winter. ‘we thought about it for a while, didn’t we, and stewed over whether it was right or wrong.’ Janet, not for the first time, virtually completes the sentence of the son she idolises, the pair almost as one when they speak. ‘and whether we wanted to do it,’ she says. ‘ whether we wanted to put things out there. there were a few details people didn’t know about. it has only ever been between us.’ ‘But,’ continues Jonny, ‘when dad passed away there were things in the press that were not correct.’ Janet again: ‘ there was a presumption among some that they knew what had happened and knew better than us. there were a lot of things i wasn’t too sure about sharing in the book but it’s 20 years in January since David died, so maybe it is time. He was an important cricketer was David, and for him to die at the age he did . . . ’
not for the first time the words are left in the air and it is clear that the emotion, even now, is never far from the surface.
so, as Jonny does right at the start of his book, let’s get the stark, brutal facts out of the way.
Jonny was just eight when, along with Janet and younger sister Becky, he returned to their home in yorkshire after football training with Leeds United juniors to find David, a Headingley legend, had hanged himself.
there had been plenty of ups and downs since David, who brought so much energy and vitality to his cricket, had reluctantly retired, but no real clue that it was as bad as this. He had even booked a restaurant to celebrate Janet’s birthday the next day and had organised a babysitter for Jonny and Becky. ‘i don’t think i will ever find out why it happened and i think it’s the same with anybody who does something like that,’ says Janet. ‘you can punish yourself for all time but i don’t think you ever truly know. you can’t look back. you have to look forward.
‘that’s what we’ve always done and that’s what we’re still doing. He had set up a business that didn’t go too well after he retired as a player but then we set up another one that was doing all right. He wasn’t too bad within himself and he did have money.
‘He wasn’t broke as a lot of people have always assumed. He didn’t have a lot but he did have some. so i can’t explain . . . ’
Jonny takes up the story: ‘no one knows why he did it and no one ever will. whether it be mum, me, Becky, andrew (David’s son from his first marriage) or anyone else. no one will ever know why. there’s no point questioning it every single day because if you do that it will bring you down.
‘after he went, there were urgent things on our agenda and if we’d have been questioning why while Mum was going through her illness we would have lost focus. we had that to contend with and lots of other things.
‘yes, of course we’ve asked questions throughout our journey but if we’d allowed that to get us down at the time then that could have had an effect on Mum’s health.
‘so in order to get through something you think about other things and set yourself little targets.
‘it might just be a small step but it’s better than thinking about a big minus that could drag you down. you don’t want to get on a downward spiral and before you know it you could be in a place of no return.’
the big question is, how on earth did Janet cope? How on earth did
‘There was anger. I was ill and I needed him, but he wasn’t there’