Ephraim Hardcastle

MI5 officers steamed open letters sent by traitor Guy Burgess to fellow spy Anthony Blunt, finding ‘explicit’ sketches of the former’s many gay lovers. So it is asserted in BBC4’s Toffs, Queers And Traitors: The Extraordinary Life Of Guy Burgess on November 13. Helen Summerfield, who worked at M15 after Burgess defected to Russia in 1951, says: ‘Anthony Blunt (by then Surveyor of the Queen’s Pictures) was a person of interest and the letters mainly, as far as I remember, were describing his boyfriends, his new boyfriends and their various attributes, physical attributes with little sketches. Not their faces!’ Saucy! HAVE luvvies gone into drivelling overdrive? Michelle Pfeiffer, 59, pictured, describes meeting her Murder on the Orient Express co- star, Dame Judi Dench, 82: ‘I just cried. Yeah, tears running down my face. I was completely star-struck.’ Meanwhile, Kate Winslet, 42, tells an American actress, Allison Janney, 57: ‘I just want to be you.’ Then kisses her on the lips. Oh dear. Hams too rare to be cured. MILITARY types are struggling to adapt to Gavin Williamson, 41, the surprise choice to succeed Sir Michael Fallon as Defence Secretary. A senior MoD civil servant, says: ‘It’ll take time to get the boy house-trained.’ Be that as it may, Williamson is already in possession of a gong. David Cameron arranged a CBE for his ‘political and public service’ – ie, being Dave’s parliamentary private secretary and bag carrier. COMPOSER Andrew Lloyd Webber, 69, remarks about his autobiography, Unmasked, the first volume of which is out next March: ‘Autobiographies are by definition self-serving and mine is no exception. Quite how I have been able to be so verbose about the most boring person I have ever written about eludes me.’ If it fails to sell well, his lordship, pictured, will have the consolation of knowing he’d put some potential readers off in advance. EUROPHILE Tory MP Anna Soubry, 60, tweets: ‘In “normal” times Boris Johnson would have been sacked long ago.’ Colleague Nadine Dorries, also 60 – no fan of Ms Soubry – fires back: ‘Thank God, you were’ – a reference to the latter’s dismissal as business minister by David Cameron. Ms Dorries accused Ms Soubry of being ‘inebriated’ during an anti-Brexit rally. Denying it, Ms Soubry said Ms Dorries was being ‘defamatory’. Girls, girls, girls!