What a chap losing his hair REALLY does to a relationship

By a wife who saw the man she loved crumble — and the husband who took drastic action with a £10,000 hair transplant

TeN years ago Jonathan Long, then aged 34, began to hate what he saw when he looked in the mirror. the hereditary male-pattern baldness that resulted in his father losing most of his hair by the age of 21 was taking its toll and, as his hairline receded, Jonathan, a hairdresser with his own salon on London’s Kings Road, found it was affecting his personality as well as his appearance.

His wife Sophie watched helplessly as the happy, confident man she married 12 years ago turned into an angry introvert.

For many men, baldness is an unwelcome part of the ageing process. But whether they succumb to a monk-like tonsure or a gleaming egghead, few dare admit the misery it causes. the sense that a head of hair is indicative of greater masculinity and sexual appeal is deep-rooted — an attitude the billion-dollar hair loss-remedy industry isn’t keen to dispel.

As Sophie, 37, will attest, many men are unable to vocalise how upset they are. Call it Samson syndrome, but baldness affects many men psychologically as well as physically and yet they don’t feel able to talk about the impact on their self-esteem.

When Jonathan, 44, decided to take drastic action last year, undergoing a £10,000 hair transplant, Sophie was secretly relieved. the result? Not only a more youthful-looking husband but a revitalised relationship, too. Here, the couple share their diary of a dramatic transformation and the life- changing effect it has had on them as a couple.

July 2016

SOPHIE SAYS: As Jon began to lose his hair, he became super-sensitive about it. I tried reassuring him, saying perhaps he would just have a slightly receding hairline like his grandad and that would be OK. But I soon realised Jon was going the same way as his dad — who was completely bald by the time he was in his 20s.

Nothing I said helped. I could tell Jon hated not having the versatility to change his hairstyle when he wanted to. He was getting more stressed and angry. If someone made a joke about going bald, he would fly at them, which I found shocking

because he wasn’t the easygoing, fun-loving Jon of old.

He became miserable and introverted, relying on hats whenever we went out and if someone knocked or snatched his hat off, he went crazy. I couldn’t believe he would be like this, but I came to realise it was getting to him more than any of us knew.

And to be truthful, it did age him. Not at first, but in the six months before he had the transplant, I noticed he was prone to looking tired or worried. I still loved him, of course, but I didn’t like the effect it was having on him. He wasn’t the confident, happy man I married. JONATHAN SAYS: The fact I was destined to lose my hair was always the big family joke: ‘Oh you may be a hairdresser but you’re going to end up bald like your dad,’ they used to say.

When I got to 25 and I still had my own hair, I was hopeful I had beaten the curse. But in my 30s, I began to shed hair fast. That’s when friends and family really started to make fun and I found that quite hurtful.

I tried expensive serums and even went in for a painful treatment called PRP, which involves blood transfusions and rolling your scalp until it bleeds in order to stimulate hair growth, but it had no improving effect.

People’s insensitive jokes would send me into a rage. You wouldn’t say to someone: ‘ Oh you’re getting fat’ — so why is it all right to make comments about hair loss?

I hated catching sight of myself in the salon mirrors. I found my ‘crop circle’ bald spot at the back and ‘island’ of hair at the front massively ageing. Sadly, I couldn’t embrace my hair loss. It got to me. Defeated me really. I became a serial hat wearer. I was thoroughly miserable, and started to think a hair transplant was my last hope.

August 2016

SOPHIE: I was relieved when Jon decided to do something about his hair. In our family, I had always been the hairobsessed one, but by this point Jon had way overtaken me. However, I thought if it was happening to me, I would want to do something about it.

I wasn’t worried about the expense. To me it was like spending that amount of money on good dentistry.

My only concern was that it might not work and he would be massively disappointed. JONATHAN: I started looking for a doctor to do my transplant. At the salon, I see clients who have had them. If not done properly the new hair can look like a wig, with a rounded hairline of coarse hairs laid in the wrong direction sticking up in spikes. I didn’t want a ‘Lego head’ with a ‘crash helmet’ hairline.

I chose Doctor Mazhar Hussain, at Absolute Aesthetics in Marylebone, London, because he seemed to understand a natural hairline is a bit wavy and messy and that hair differs in thickness at different parts of the head.

At £10,000, Dr Mazhar was expensive, but better to pay double for something that works. My hope was it would make me look younger and boost my self-esteem.

I have never had great hair — it was always fine and thin. But recently, looking at pictures of myself styling hair for a shoot, all I saw was my own receding hairline. It bugged me. I admit, I am vain.

But I was realistic. I wasn’t expecting to end up with hair like George Clooney, but I wanted to feel confident when cameras were clicking around me.

October 2016

SOPHIE: I offered to drive and collect Jon from the clinic on ‘transplant day’, but he insisted on going by himself in a taxi. I realised this was something he wanted to go through on his own, which I could understand.

When he came home, his scalp was very red and you could see the little pinprick marks where they had transplanted existing hairs from the back of his head to the thin areas at the front and on his crown. The next morning, his head looked swollen and covered in scabs and I was very worried. I was scared to touch him because it looked so painful. He had to slee sitting up for the first few ays. But after that, the pain went and he could return to normal. JONATHAN: D- day arrived and was not overly worried because had seen a video and knew what was involved. The transplant is a ten-hour procedure, starting with local anaesthetic injected into my skull at several locations.

Dr Mazhar did this while he was massaging my scalp so I didn't really feel anything. I was awake

the entire time and even filmed the whole thing on my iPad.

It is a painstaking procedure — hairs are removed individually from the thick growth at the back of the head with a tiny instrument, then sorted into types of hair before transplanting them into the thin areas at the front in a natural, aesthetically pleasing way.

As you must shave your head before the process, you can only see tiny dots where the hair is inserted. The tiny bit of hair that’s transplanted into the follicle falls