The dastardly Mr Deedes

Former Rolls-Royce boss Sir John Rose is still facing Serious Fraud Office enquiries after his firm agreed to pay up to £671m to settle bribery and corruption claims. Bulbous-nosed Sir John, 65, remains reasonably insouciant about the matter. Last I heard, he was embarking on an adventurous motorcycle trek with a member of his family across South America. Corporate raider Carl Icahn is being investigated by US prosecutors over claims he tried to change environmental policy while an adviser to President Trump. Bearded Icahn, 81, blamed for destroying airline TWA, is, by all accounts, a fairly vile specimen. Filmmaker Oliver Stone cites him as inspiration for Gordon Gekko, Michael Douglas’s delightful villain from his 1987 hit Wall Street. After meeting, Icahn provided Stone with one of Gekko’s catchphrases, advising him: ‘If you want a friend, get a dog.’ JP Morgan boss Jamie Dimon, 61, says he is grateful for ‘better clarity’ on Britain’s Brexit strategy after meeting the Prime Minister on Wednesday. At least someone left Downing Street with a smile on their face. No sooner had Dimon departed, doomed international development secretary Priti Patel arrived for her rendezvous with the firing squad. Re Priti, the chances of one of her predecessors, Andrew Mitchell, regaining his old job were ruled a nonstarter because he was neither a) female nor b) a Brexiteer. But would not-as-niceas-he-looks Mitchell, 61, left with estimated £2m legal fees following his failed legal action against The Sun, have wanted it? On top of his £74,962 MP’s salary, the former banker earns £90,000 from Investec and City accountants Ernst & Young for less than two weeks’ work a year. Burberry’s new chief, Marco Gobbetti, 57, rivals advertising mogul Sir Martin Sorrell as shortest male boss of a FTSE 100 firm. Watching him deliver interim results yesterday, the Italian smoothie is certainly no higher than Sir Martin’s 5ft 5in. I’m told their healthy egos are similarly matched.