Ephraim Hardcastle
NOT yet a royal, Meghan Markle isn’t technically bound by the Queen’s ban on members of the family firm signing autographs. The Queen disapproves of celebrity nonsense like autographs and was taken aback when meeting the Australian cricket team at Lord’s in 1977 when Dennis Lillee produced an autograph book and pen. She politely declined but did later send him a signed photograph. Princess Michael flaunts the rule, flogging her books and scrawling her signature on the flyleaves. Meghan has been more circumspect but the value of her signature has shot up since her engagement confirmation, with an example being offered on eBay for £299.99.
MEANWHILE, with autographs off the table, along with selfies and answering fan mail (Harry’s secretaries will do that), what does Meghan do? Well, she can perfect her curtsy. Until next year’s wedding, Meghan, being a commoner, has to bend the knee to the rest of the family. Once wed, it becomes very complicated working out who in the family she has to curtsy to. Harry will no doubt hiss in her ear explaining she is outranked by the Queen but not by Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.
VAIN former social mobility tsar Alan Milburn, 59, who jumped before he was pushed, has long been accused of abandoning his Left-wing roots. He used to earn a crust at a Marxist bookshop in Newcastle. Recalling being Milburn’s best man at his wedding in 1981, one-time pal Alec McFadden later said: ‘It wasn’t a very grand affair. Alan could only afford one pair of trousers and the seams split. He actually got married with safety pins holding the seams of his trousers together.’ At least pompous Milburn’s own social mobility isn’t in doubt!
DELIGHTFULLY daft Daniel Day-Lewis, 60, who announced in June he was retiring from acting, will be absent from the premiere of his ‘final’ movie, Phantom Thread, in which he plays ‘tortured’ fashion designer Reynolds Woodcock, pictured. The movie opens here next month, but Day-Lewis explains: ‘Not wanting to see the film is connected to the decision I’ve made to stop working as an actor.’ Is there a doctor in the house?
DIDN’T rock ’n’ roll oldie Little Richard, who is 85 today, once proclaim his gayness? The Tutti Frutti singer recently announced to a Christian broadcaster that he now considered gay relationships ‘unnatural affection’. Fans point out this is at odds with past comments. ‘I’ve been gay all my life,’ he once revealed, adding five years ago: ‘Sex to me is like a smorgasbord. Whatever I feel like, I go for. I am omnisexual.’
KEEN as always to cause offence in order to promote their Amazon show The Grand Tour, Jeremy Clarkson and ex-Top Gear colleagues Richard Hammond and James May have dolled themselves up as ‘American broadcasters’, complete with fake tans, coiffured hair and bright white teeth. Why not add topicality by having themselves accused of inappropriate sexual behaviour?