Blind date

At the end of the night, he kissed me on the lips, which took me by surprise... The date gave me a real boost – even if we have no future

EACH week, we send two people on a blind date. our latest couple, Tonya elson, 50, and Jonathan Cass, 52, had dinner at the Rivenhall Hotel in Witham, essex.

Jonathan, who lives in nearby Great Dunmow, has a 27-year-old son and is an actor. Twicemarried Tonya, from Colchester, has twins aged 12 and a ten-year-old son. She works at an estate agency.

TONYA, 50, SAYS:

I’M AMAzeD by people who come out of divorce and meet someone quickly. That’s not happening for me! I’ve tried online dating, but often feel it’s a waste of time and effort.

I’m old- school in many ways, and wasn’t nervous at all about the idea of a blind date. I was intrigued about who I was going to meet and relieved it didn’t involve all that chatting online to a stranger — it’s so impersonal.

I was pleasantly surprised when Jonathan walked in. I like someone to make an effort — after all, I always do — and he was dressed smartly. I’ve gone on plenty of dates where men turn up in a pair of trainers!

From the word go, our conversation flowed easily, as if we knew each other already. We talked about life in general and have a lot in common. We both have children and have been married twice. I lived in Singapore for a few years and, because of his previous job as British Airways cabin crew, we knew a lot of the same bars and restaurants there.

Jonathan said he had been nervous, but he didn’t seem it. I’m not sure I have a type, although I probably go for tall, dark men, but really, it’s about the person, not the looks.

Jonathan told me about his job and said upfront he probably wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world due to work commitments. It made me realise we have very different lives.

I really enjoyed our date — if Jonathan hadn’t been so lovely to chat to, I would have gone way earlier. He’s a very interesting guy, and I loved hearing about his job. At the end of the evening, he kissed me on the lips, which took me by surprise, but it was oK.

I always go on a date with an open mind, but for me, the chemistry is usually instant. Although we had a really nice conversation, not to mention that kiss, I don’t think the attraction was there.

I liked Jonathan a lot and had a thoroughly enjoyable evening, though. I so enjoyed having some male company.

We could have talked all night — they were cashing up when we left. But sadly, I don’t think it’s the start of a big romance for me, lovely though he was.

Jonathan would make a lovely partner for someone who didn’t have young children and had more time than me. I have three youngsters who keep me busy, and I work, too.

I would possibly go out again with him as a friend, but I think we are at very different stages in our lives. He kept saying he did understand that side of things about my children, but I think this is hard to do unless you are actually living it. LIKED? He made an effort to dress nicely and was really friendly. REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee.

VERDICT: 10/10 JONATHAN, 52, SAYS:

I’ve been married twice, once in my early 20s and again in 2002. My second marriage ended in 2014, after we grew apart.

Since then, I’ve dated on and off, but have been single for the past two years. I’ve had fits and starts of trying to find someone online, but it never gets beyond chatting because my job as a supporting artist in Tv and film makes it difficult to make plans.

I live in Great Dunmow, but spend a lot of time on my narrow boat down the road in Roydon. My lifestyle is not conducive to a stable relationship.

As this was my first proper date in two-and-a-half years, I was apprehensive. I walked into the restaurant early, as I didn’t want Tonya to be sitting by herself, but she was already there.

She is very pretty and obviously keeps herself fit, and from the start, the conversation was easy. We got on really well.

She’s Libra, like me, and I always get on with Librans, so we hit it off. We chatted about our personality traits, then a little about each other’s lives and previous relationships. I’ve travelled a lot and she lived in Singapore for nine years, so we had lots in common.

It did bother me a bit that she has three young kids, as I know that, with my job, I wouldn’t be a very good partner to someone with a young family. I’d be worried I’d let them down. I might make an arrangement, then get a work call that changed things.

I think Tonya wants a man who can do family days or has children the same age. I get that. I think there was chemistry, though. At first, I got the impression I wasn’t her type. When I asked, she told me she normally goes for tall, dark men.

But somehow, because we got that out in the open, it meant we relaxed and had a good evening.

We were there for four hours. At our age, you don’t want timewasters, so early on we got to the nitty gritty and defined the ground rules. It let us relax.

As a result, this date has really given me a boost, even if it doesn’t lead anywhere. I might come over as super-confident, but some of it is show and, when you haven’t been dating in a while, you question: ‘Have I still got it?’ and ‘Can I sit down and do this?’

I would love a relationship, but worry I’m a very difficult to be with because my job makes me difficult to pin down.

SoMeTIMeS, I overthink it. I analyse everything and ask: ‘If I do this today, how will this affect my life in five years?’ It’s like I’m apologising in advance for being a useless boyfriend!

The fact that we had such a relaxed evening and got on so well has given me the confidence to think I can do this again.

We didn’t swap phone numbers at the end. Tonya was a little anxious to get back to her kids once we realised the time, but it wasn’t awkward, as I think we’d both had a really nice evening and had been open and frank.

So we shared a kiss and wished each other well.

I’ve spent most of my life in relationships, and this is the first time in years I’ve put myself first. I’ve found my mojo, having lost it in my last relationship, and I finally like who I am.

This date has taught me that, sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith.

I may not be right for Tonya, but I would like to see her again, even as a friend, because we had such a lovely time. LIKED? She is a beautiful and lovely person. REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee.