Daniel not a Bond hunk? I’m shaken...
‘ BULBoUs nose’? ‘ thin lips’? i blame myself for this new ‘scientific study’ naming Daniel Craig as the least attractive James Bond in 007 history.
if i didn’t spend so much time on these pages explaining to everyone, at length, just how lovely he truly is, then perhaps a Harley street plastic surgeon wouldn’t have started wondering if Craig really was quite as devilishly handsome as previous Bonds.
to prove a point, Dr Julian De silva minutely analysed the Bond actors’ faces using something called the Golden ratio of Beauty Phi — and decided Daniel was the ugliest of all due to his ‘very wide face’.
sean Connery came in first, thanks to his ‘beautiful’ facial symmetry. Yes, but have you seen his knuckles? they are as hairy as mice.
Who wants a pretty boy Bond, anyway? i thought we’d got over that with roger moore and Pierce ‘Dimples’ Brosnan.
‘Craig has rugged good looks but they don’t accord with the Greeks’ idea of beauty,’ says Dr De silva’s report.
Who cares what the ancient Greeks think? Did socrates see darling Daniel in Casino royale winning that last hand of poker while making eva Green almost dissolve into her cocktail? i don’t think so. And since when were plastic surgeons any judge of good looks, given the monstrosities they churn out, naming no celebrity names?
Looks can’t kill, but when facing a baddie with a Walther PPK in his hand, Daniel can.
Perhaps i should get in touch with him to say that there are some awful pictures of him out there with hideous long hair.
He and i should team up on a top- secret mission to clean up his internet profile and thus boost his ‘golden ratio’ listing. No, Daniel, don’t argue, it’s no trouble, i’m on my way over now.