Did she let sleeping dogs lie? Dream on!

Hello! I’m Lewis the labrador And I’m my owner’s pride and joy. He tells everyone I’m the best dog ever And that I’m a very good boy. I got an A-plus in obedience classes, They said I was the star of the show! I try to look bright and intelligent And my tail wags wherever I go. I’ve never barked at the postman Or chased a bike down the track, But today I was stretched to the limit, I’ve no idea how I managed to hold back. I was lying outside a shop in the town, My master said he wouldn’t be long, When this lady walked by, and looked down with a smile, And it started going horribly wrong! ‘Hello, my lovely boy,’ she cooed, Are you having a

wonderful day?’ I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, And hoped that she might go away. She bent down low and stroked my head, And tickled me under my chin. I considered sinking my teeth in her hand But I didn’t know where it had been! ‘So tell me your name . . . are

you all on your own? You must be so lonely and sad?’ ‘I’m actually fine,’ I wanted to say, ‘And you’re rapidly driving me mad!’ Now I think I’m quite bright in the dog world, To the extent of being considered a geek. I can bark, I can whine, I can growl pretty well, But I haven’t yet learned how to speak. I wanted to tell her I’d been for a walk And chased seagulls down on the shore, But she seemed determined to keep me awake; I was finding it all such a bore. So next time you pass a black labrador Lying there, quite happily alone, Don’t wake him up because it’s probably me Dreaming of my favourite bone.

David Weatherston, Ryde, Isle of Wight.