The worm who turned
QUESTION Did Van Morrison release a song called Ring Worm to get out of a record contract? When he left his Belfast band Them and moved to the U.S. in 1966, Irish singer Van ‘The Man’ Morrison signed an ill-advised contract with Bert Berns’s Bang Records that could have left him writing threeminute pop songs for the rest of his life.
The contract produced Morrison’s first solo hit, Brown eyed Girl, reaching no. 10 on the Billboard hot 100. however, the famously irascible singer became increasingly frustrated with the company’s insistence on him producing poppy nonsense when he wanted to spread his artistic wings.
On December 30, 1967, Berns died. his widow Ilene blamed the arguments with the singer for his demise and took her revenge. Morrison was barred from performing on stage or recording in new York. he was further upset when Bang released the Blowin’ Your Mind! album without informing him.
Warner Music stepped in and bought out the deal with Bang Records, but there was still one contractual detail: Morrison was obliged to record 36 songs for his old label, which would also continue to earn royalties from anything he released for the first year after leaving Bang.
The impatient Van recorded 31 of these songs in a single session, ad-libbing numbers such as Ring Worm, Chickee Coo, You Say France And I Whistle, The Big Royalty Check and Want A Danish?.
The horrible Ring Worm begins: ‘ I can see by the look on your face/That you’ve got ringworm/I’m very sorry but I have to tell you that/You’ve got ringworm/It’s a very common disease.’ And ended: ‘ You’ve got ringworm/Oooh- oooh, oooh, ooohoooh, oooh, oooh-oooh . . .’ Morrison followed up Ring Worm by moving to Boston and recording Astral Weeks, widely regarded as one of the greatest albums ever made. Alex Sheerman, Manchester.
QUESTION I’ve been told a Liverpool poet said: ‘If life is a bad movie, why not leave before the end?’ Who was the poet?
The title of this poem is If Life’s A Lousy Picture, Why not Leave Before The end. It was written by Liverpool poet Roger McGough and published in 1969 in his collection of poems called Watchwords.
One of the three Liverpool Poets, along with Brian Patten and Adrian henri, McGough found fame when the trio were selected for the 1967 anthology Penguin Modern Poets Volume 10, The Mersey Sound.
It quickly sold out its initial print run and became one of the bestselling anthologies of english poetry.
McGough went on to further fame as a member of pop/comedy trio The Scaffold, whose biggest hits were Thank U Very Much and Lily The Pink. he continues to give poetry recitals.
T. Bailey, Nottingham.
QUESTION Is there any truth to the story that Arsenal football club bribed their way into the First Division in 1919?
SInCe gaining their place in the First Division in 1919, Arsenal have never been relegated, though some claim they never earned that promotion.
In the 1912-13 season, Woolwich Arsenal had been relegated to the Second Division after nine years in the top flight.
The arms production factory in Woolwich, after which the club was named, was being scaled down and the club owner, henry norris, felt the fan base would be too small in the Woolwich area, but would be greatly increased in north London. A new ground was set up at highbury, the Woolwich appellation was dropped and the club became Arsenal. At the end of the 1914-15 season, when Arsenal finished sixth in the Second Division, national football was discontinued for the duration of World War I. In August 1919 it recommenced, and it was decided to extend the First Division from 20 clubs to 22.
On previous occasions when the number of First Division clubs had been increased, the two bottom clubs were saved from relegation and the top two from the Second Division made up the difference.
The bottom two clubs in 1914-1915 were Chelsea and Tottenham hotspur, and it was assumed two Second Division clubs would be added to the top flight.
But Arsenal chairman norris had other ideas. Chelsea was allowed to remain in the top group while Tottenham and six clubs from the second tier were put up for a Football Association vote.
Surprisingly, Arsenal gained the most votes — 18 to Tottenham’s eight — so were promoted from sixth position in the Second Division to the top flight.
The accusations of norris bribing the Football League were never proved, but controversy was never far behind him.
he had taken Fulham from the Southern League to the Second Division in 1907 after a scant four years. Directors of other clubs said the Football League had received backhanders, but no evidence was found.
But as Jon Spurling, author of highbury: The Story Of Arsenal In n.5, said: ‘ he [henry norris] was the undisputed master of covering his tracks.’
When Arsenal bought Sunderland player Charlie Buchan for a knock-down price of £2,000, the Daily Mail discovered he was paying him ‘on the side’ against the Football Association rules. norris brazenly took the matter to court, where the judge ruled against him.
By then the FA had had enough of ‘honest’ henry norris’s antics. he was banned from football indefinitely, leaving a legacy for shady doings. As a result, Arsenal will always have to deal with the doubts surrounding their right to their entry to the 1919 First Division.
Mick Jones, Northfleet, Kent.
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