Out of the mouths of babes

I HEARD the chimes of the ice-cream van in the road. So had someone else! When I answered a knock on the door, the ice-cream man — with my four-year-old son in tow — said: ‘Your son handed me your purse and asked for an ice-cream.’ Yes, after this surprise, I did buy him an ice-cream!

e. osborne, Northchurch, Herts.

Yourjokes

DURING the beautiful bank holiday, I decided to do something I’d always wanted to try: fry an egg on the bonnet.

My wife was furious. Not only had she just bought it, she was wearing it at the time.

Richard Myers, London NW4.

Follow-up

WHEN we first started going out, I invited my girlfriend on a day trip to France on a ‘cross flannel cherry’. She laughed and as a married couple we’re still laughing at each other’s word mangling 48 years later.

Frank Busby, evesham, Worcs.

One-line philosophers

I HAD a good job in a whistle factory, but I blew it. Scott Mathieson, Jedburgh, Scottish Borders. I’VE a fear of lifts: I think I’m coming down with something. P. Turberville, Ashover, Derbys.

Wordy Wise

GAMEPOST: competition offers. DATEPOST: party invite. LATEPOST: wrong stamp. FATEPOST: court summons. HATEPOST: bills galore.

T. John Foster, Stafford.

ThisEngland

AN ATTEMPT to rule the roost? Spotted by M. Springer of Reading, Berks, in the online listing for a local property for sale: ‘There is a garden shed, pergola, chicken coup, vegetable beds and a log store.’