How to make being lonely the BEST thing that ever happened to you!

Older people are the most likely to be alone – but also the most determined to do something about it. Now the final part of our series reveals . . .

are all ways of finding a renewed sense of meaning, which is just as important as the social interactions they might provide.

Carole Winter, 60, is another retiree who has gone to great lengths to combat the loneliness she experienced after giving up work. Carole has two grownup daughters — Katie, 32, and Becky, 31 — and lives in Kent.

She says: ‘Retirement’s a funny thing. In your head, you dream of lovely days with nothing to do but read books and papers, listen to Woman’s Hour on Radio 4 and watch daytime TV. But these things are somehow much less appealing when you have all the time in the world to do them.

‘You can’t go from the life I had — 40 years’ commuting to London and working in an incredibly exciting industry, producing shows in the West End — to nothing and expect loneliness not to hit.’

For Carole, lots of ‘ endings’ happened around the same time. She says: ‘Although my former husband Tony and I had been divorced for ten years, we were great friends. I cared for him when he became ill with dementia. When he died last March, there was such emptiness and sadness.

‘My job in London had ended and life changed dramatically. Suddenly, I was free to do what I wanted and it felt strange. My friends were mainly in London or dotted around the world.’

The answer for Carole has been to keep busy, throwing herself into situations where she’s happily mixing with other people.

‘I do Pilates and aqua aerobics classes at the local gym, then make an effort to stay behind to chat to people or go for coffee,’ she says. ‘I’ve involved myself in art and wine classes and joined a choir. I also work parttime for two charities.’

As a result, Carole is feeling fulfilled at a time when she could easily have felt dreadfully lost and alone.

Olive Parfitt, 73, is also retired and lives in Dorchester. Loneliness affected her after her husband moved out seven years ago, ending their 45year marriage.

She kept her unhappiness to herself at first. ‘I kept my emotions under cover and didn’t say anything to anybody,’ she says.

It didn’t help that Olive and her husband had recently moved house, meaning she didn’t have old friends around her when she became single.

SHE says: ‘When men are on their own, women invite them for dinner or drop in a shepherd’s pie. But there was none of that for me. Instead, some women kept their distance, not sure perhaps if I was going to steal their husband!’

One night, feeling desperately lonely, Olive phoned The Silver Line — a helpline for older people. ‘The woman on the end of the phone was so lovely and calming,’ says Olive. ‘She put me in touch with a “phone friend” named Fiona, who started calling me every week. I can’t tell you what a difference it made, having her ring me and say: “How’s it going? What are you up to today?”

‘It inspired me to make some changes in my life. I’ve moved into an over55s complex, where there’s always someone coming and going and I can invite them in for a cup of tea and a chat.

‘Sometimes, the days do stretch out a bit, and I definitely watch too much TV, but I’m determined to do something about it.

‘When you feel alone, you do have to make the effort.’

Olive is right — making an effort is the key when it comes to fighting loneliness.

As our series comes to an end, perhaps you’ll consider what changes you might make to avoid feeling lonely, either now or in the future.

Maybe you’ll resolve to connect with others less on social media and more in the real world. Or become ruthless about carving out time for yourself so you can nurture the friendships and activities that matter to you the most.

Perhaps a change of career or a reevaluation of your relationship is what’s needed to reinvigorate your life. Volunteering, returning to education, taking up a hobby — these all provide opportunities to meet likeminded people and to connect with others in a meaningful way.

Above all, I hope you’ll see that loneliness isn’t meant as a punishment — it’s an alarm call that says: ‘Something needs to done.’ You might even find that feeling lonely for a time ends up being the best thing that could have happened to you.