Can your mind tell you it’s time to die?
AUDREY and Roy Haynes were married for more than 60 years. The pair were utterly devoted to each other and well known in the local community where Roy had served as mayor.
When Audrey, of North Walsham, Norfolk, developed dementia and went into a care home, Roy visited her every day.
Sadly, earlier this month, Audrey, 84, passed away. A few hours later, Roy, 87, died of heart failure in a nearby hospital.
A poignant coincidence — they were both in their ninth decade after all? Or was it something else?
Their son Gordon thinks so. While his mother’s death was expected, his father’s death was ‘out of the blue’. To him it was evidence that ‘not even death could keep them apart’, he told a local newspaper.
Which may sound rather fanciful. Death is a biological event that cannot be delayed or hastened just by willing it . . . or can it? Science tells us that the mind and the body are two separate entities and, for the most part, doctors treat them separately.
Yet, intuitively we know that is nonsense and that our minds have far more influence over our bodies than our current understanding allows. The evidence is starting to stack up, not least in several fascinating studies among different faith groups.
There is, for example, a significant dip in deaths among Jewish people around the Sabbath, and a corresponding surge in deaths shortly after. Jewish people are also less likely to die around Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year in Judaism.
These findings have been applied to all causes of death, leading researchers to speculate that because people prefer not to die on a day of strict religious observance, they somehow delay their demise. Christians are less likely to die during the Christmas period, while fewer Muslims are reported to die during the holy month of Ramadan.
It is biologically implausible and many would scoff at the notion. But if my experience is anything to go by, I doubt that doctors would be among them.
In the course of my medical career, I’ve observed the determination and tenacity of the human spirit time and again, particularly in patients very close to the end of life who somehow, against all clinical expectations, manage to ‘hold on’ until a loved one arrives, or a birthday is marked, or a new grandchild is born.
I remember one elderly man admitted to my ward whose condition suddenly deteriorated. It was clear he was dying.
We contacted his son, who lived 400 miles away. He drove through the night, but we were convinced he would be too late.
Somehow, though, his father endured until his son reached his bedside, said ‘Hello, Dad’, kissed him and took his hand. The old man died a few minutes later.
Conversely, I’ve seen many patients who have waited until grieving relatives have gone home or slipped out for a cup of tea or breath of fresh air before drawing their last breath.
I believe these individuals felt death was a private matter, or perhaps they wanted to spare their families the actual moment of their passing.
ONEhappier example of the power of the mind is the fact that brides are significantly less likely to have a cold on their wedding day.
Again, it makes no sense. From a biological point of view, there’s nothing particular about a woman’s wedding day that would make her less susceptible to the cold virus.
Of course, no bride wants a runny nose or tissues stuffed up the sleeve of her dress on one of the most important days of her life, and this determination appears to manifest itself in avoiding illness.
Could it be that the mind boosts the immune system in the run-up to a momentous event, or maybe it suppresses the symptoms if someone is infected?
Whatever the answer, it is yet more proof of the tremendous power of mind over body of which we have so little understanding.
Ultimately, we know we cannot beat death or biology — but when it matters, it seems that our brain has a damn good try.
For Roy Haynes, perhaps life without Audrey was not one he wished to contemplate.