DEAR BEL,

FOUR months ago my 74-yearold mum started an affair with a married man. They’d met 18 months earlier, when he joined her church.

My father died 20 years ago and Mum has never said she wanted another man in her life and never sought one.

Knowing she is having sex — and with a married man — has come as a complete shock to me and my siblings. We cannot condone it, but we do recognise she is an adult, free to make her own decisions.

While we can see she is happier because of him, we are deeply concerned about his intentions. At 58, he is 16 years younger with very little money of his own, and by his own admission would not be able to afford to buy another house if he divorced.

He has no children and (according to Mum) no friends or outside interests. He has also told Mum he doesn’t want to go into rented accommodation and sees his next move as living with her.

My mum is very, very wealthy and lives in a large house.

She has three children who adore her, friends galore and many outside interests, including golf. Their lives (apart from church) couldn’t be more different.

Now her lover is putting intense pressure on her to commit to him. Within one week of their relationship he told her he wanted to leave his wife, after 28 years of marriage!

We, her children, think this is too fast, too soon — and we are concerned his intentions are financially driven. But our mum is besotted with him.

We want her to be happy, but we want to protect her, too. Are we right to be concerned and what should we do?

EMMA