Southgate’s secret WEAPON
Not his natty waistcoat, but his animal rights campaigner wife who (whisper it) isn’t terribly keen on football
THE HEARTWARMING scene sealed a night of unbridled joy. As England celebrated their dramatic win over Colombia, manager Gareth Southgate was greeted by his wife, Alison, who wrapped her arms tightly around his now-famous blue waistcoat and gave him an almighty hug.
For Mrs Southgate, normally the very antithesis of a football WAG and a woman who studiously avoids the spotlight (unlike certain other England spouses we might mention), it was a rare public outburst of emotion.
So rare, in fact, that even the TV commentator didn’t appear to have the faintest idea who she was and remained silent throughout the impromptu pitch-side cuddle.
Should the team beat Sweden today, people ought to be better prepared. For having originally planned to attend only the last of England’s World Cup group games — perhaps fearing that they would, by then, be knocked out — Mrs Southgate is thought to have now postponed her homeward flight.
You might imagine that the manager’s wife — who is in Russia with the couple’s children, Mia, 19, and Flynn, 15 — enjoys watching England play.
Not so, her father-in-law, Clive Southgate, told me. ‘Actually, I don’t think Alison likes football very much,’ he chuckled, after watching the triumph over Colombia.
‘Obviously she has to take an interest because it’s Gareth’s job, and she is always very supportive. She will sometimes go to Wembley for an international game — but not during the school term because she always puts the children first.’
As for that unusually demonstrative cuddle, Mr Southgate, 80 — who, like his son, keeps his emotions firmly in check — offered a logical explanation.
‘I think they had been under a lot of stress before the penalties and afterwards it was such a release,’ he averred. ‘ They were just expressing a feeling of great relief.’
DOUBTLESSso, for — as the penalty shoot-out began — Alison’s thoughts must have flashed back to 1996, when Southgate missed the crucial penalty that meant Germany beat England in the semi- final of the European championships.
His fiancee wept in the stands but, with typical stoicism, quickly composed herself and helped him through his darkest hours.
‘Alison was terrific,’ goalkeeping coach Andy Woodman, one of Southgate’s closest friends, once revealed. He recalled how she comforted Southgate and downplayed the enormity of his error by nonchalantly remarking: ‘F***ing football. It gets on my nerves.’
Southgate has commented many times on the strength he draws from his wife and children, whose happiness, he says, matters far more than succeeding in football.
Describing, in his 2003 autobiography, how family life helps him overcome football disappointments, he comments: ‘On Saturday evening, our children are not too bothered whether Dad’s team have won or lost.
‘Neither does Alison fret too much about football, and this is how I like it. Regardless of the result, it is up to me to ensure that no one’s evening is ruined because of things that happened on a football field. The agonising waits until Alison and the kids are asleep.’
It is because he values his own family life so highly that — in contrast to some previous England managers — he has allowed, and even encouraged, the World Cup squad to bring their wives and girlfriends to Russia, and spend time relaxing with them.
This is said to have fostered a communal spirit missing in past World Cups, contributing significantly to the team’s success. (Southgate has even abandoned his predecessors’ ‘ no sex during the tournament’ rule, though none of the players has admitted to taking advantage of it!)
If Mrs Southgate’s influence has quietly played a key part in
England’s unlikely progress to the quarter-finals, however, her own passions lie firmly elsewhere.
According to one family source, she is a committed animal rights campaigner, and is backing calls to end battery-farmed pigs being caged.
On Twitter, she has also retweeted a poignant Greenpeace story about an oil-drenched penguin that was saved by a Brazilian fisherman, and messages from the RSPCA and Born Free Foundation.
Her father-in-law says she and Gareth enjoy socialising with a ‘wide circle of friends’ (most of whom have no connection with football), but neighbours in North Yorkshire say she seems happiest when wandering the countryside in jeans and boots with her two dogs, a Labrador and a cockapoo.
In fact, at 51 — almost four years older than Gareth — this former fashion shop assistant appears to have become something of a New Age woman. She is thought to be a vegetarian, she attends regular yoga classes and on Facebook expressed her envy of a friend who was at the Glastonbury Festival.
She also posts ethereal homilies on social media. They are positive and life-affirming, but her latest may be best ignored by England’s
would-be penalty-takers: ‘ Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up bad vibrations if something deep inside of you says something,’ it reads portentously.
Domestically, the Southgates have been trying to sell their Grade I-listed, 16th-century manor house, in a North Yorkshire hamlet near Harrogate, for several years, so they can move closer to the FA HQ in Staffordshire.
Neighbours remark on the family’s down-to-earth nature and generosity of spirit.
Describing them as ‘ lovely people’, one local resident this week recalled how they reacted when carol singers warbled hopefully outside the gates of their mansion at Christmas.
‘They came down to meet us with a torch and invited us up to the house. The Southgates were all there with the kids and another family. They had lit two roaring fires and showed us into their Elizabethan dining room where we all had mulled wine and sang carols together.’
From a couple who have never forgotten their roots in the South London suburbs and loathe the trappings of celebrity, it was a typical gesture. Since Southgate
was appointed England manager two years ago, maintaining a close family life has not been easy. He hates being away from Alison and sees less of his son, who is at boarding school in York, and daughter, a university student in Scotland.
However, when they get together they make a rule of sitting down to meals as a family. An assistant at a local restaurant says they are ‘creatures of habit — always sitting at the same table’.
SUCH‘ ordinariness’ notwithstanding, Mrs Southgate enjoys the trappings of her husband’s £1.8 million-a-year job (not to mention the £1.5 million bonus said to await him if, miracle of miracles, England win the Cup).
Whenever the Russian idyll ends, she and her husband will probably retreat to their villa in Portugal. In London, she enjoys afternoon tea at a Mayfair hotel. She also takes holidays with girlfriends — Barbados is a favourite destination — for she has no need to work.
She retains her looks with daily gym workouts and frequent appointments with a beautician.
One more thing. When she dashed to greet her husband after the Colombia game, she was clutching that essential footballer’s
wife’s accessory, a white Gucci handbag. But in all other respects, this publicity-shy woman is as far removed from Sven-Goran Eriksson’s drama queen ex-girlfriend, Nancy Dell’Olio, and her pampered ilk as might be imagined.
In his book, Southgate recalls how Alison was a counter assistant in the Croydon branch of Benetton when he first saw her. He was instantly smitten.
Though in his early 20s and the captain of Crystal Palace, he was desperately shy with girls as he had devoted his youth to football, so he would loiter around the shop, buying clothes he didn’t want, never daring to ask her out.
By the time he plucked up the courage, more than a year later, in the spring of 1995, she had moved to Bromley, to work at French Connection. Southgate knew she had been living with a boyfriend, but was told they had broken up.
When he asked her out, however, Alison said they were still together, and he sloped away, crestfallen. It was only a week later, when they met by chance in a restaurant, that the relationship began.
Alison was dining with her boyfriend, but Southgate had heard they were about to split up, so he waited until she went to the loos, then intercepted her and