New judges, same old cliches (
Return!) but it’s still a Yes from us for The X Factor’s
THE X FACTOR is returning with a new line-up of judges, but after my friends and I attended one of the auditions at the SSE Arena in Wembley, I can only say it’s as cheesy as ever. There is chemistry between Simon Cowell and Louis Tomlinson of boy band One Direction, but not as much as between husband and wife Robbie Williams and Ayda Field, who danced and kissed each other throughout the auditions. If they were a married couple working at Lidl, people would have something to say. You don’t see Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford behaving like that on This Morning. The chemistry between the two pairings was lost somewhere between Simon’s flares and Robbie’s ego. Robbie would sigh and look in the opposite direction when Simon was speaking and Louis didn’t engage with Robbie or Ayda. At times, it felt as if all four had been forced together on an awkward double-date. Louis was reserved while Robbie spent most of his time singing and waving to the audience. At other times, it appeared they were competing to see who could mention Take That and One Direction the most times in one sentence. The auditions were disappointingly predictable. It’s one of the reason why The X Factor is losing its spark. Two drag queens in sparkly golden dresses and bright pink wigs were voted through to the next round — the focus was on their persona and charisma, not their admittedly great singing voices. I was irritated by the attention paid to contestants who were a quivering emotional mess with a heart-wrenching back story. Robbie was an inconsistent judge. He joined in a standing ovation for one female singer — and then didn’t give her a vote. On the plus side, Robbie and Ayda ignored the show’s cheesegrater cliches. After saying no to a female contestant who’d performed an average rendition of Unchained Melody, they refused to be swayed by the baying audience. Louis delivered his advice in a sophisticated way and didn’t rip the contestants to shreds. In the nicest possible way, he told one boy band that their dancing and co-ordination was terrible. His only annoying trait was his repetition of the word ‘lad’ — it was like being at the World Cup after-party. Time and again, Simon pointlessly got people’s hopes up, then destroyed them before their eyes. The final singer lit up the stage with an electrifying performance that everyone loved. In good old X Factor style, all the judges got on stage to give the crying performer a cuddle. Despite all its predictability, I have to admit I can’t wait for The X Factor to be back on our screens in the autumn.
BEN RICHARDSON, Redditch, Worcs.