Brexit? Oooh! May-tron, it’s just naughty!
It Is 60 years since the world premiere of the first Carry On film, Carry On sergeant. the last one, Carry On Columbus, was released in 1992. But have you seen these lesser-known gems?
Carry On Counting (1969)
HATTIE Jacques stars as the head of a firm of chartered accountants, with charles Hawtrey and sid James as her senior management team.
carry On counting is also notable for a cameo appearance by the young Norman tebbit as a police constable who is sent to scrutinise the books.
entering a roomful of secretaries, he declares: ‘i want to get my hands on your figures’. to which Barbara Windsor replies: ‘Oooh! Naughty!’
Carry On Virginia (1974)
CASHING in on the revival of interest in the Bloomsbury group in the early seventies, producer Peter Rogers and director gerald thomas made this famously uneven film, focusing on Virginia Woolf, played by Barbara Windsor.
in the opening scene, the young Virginia is sitting outside in her bikini, struggling to complete her new books, to the Lovehouse and Mrs Dollyway. Lytton strachey (Bernard Bresslaw) drops by, looks at the books and says: ‘You’ve got a nice pair there, love!’ to which Barbara Windsor replies: ‘Oooh! Naughty!’
Carry On Protesting (1968)
THE only film in the series to feature the young Jeremy corbyn in a speaking role, carry On Protesting was a bold attempt by Rogers and thomas to cash in on the Paris student riots of that year.
cast against type, Jeremy corbyn plays the Hon Mr clarence cholmondeley-smythe, sent in by the Foreign Office to help French police sort out the student protesters, led by charles Hawtrey and Barbara Windsor.
‘ Remove your placards this minute, and let me take down your credentials!’ demands corbyn.
‘Oooh! cheeky!’ replies Barbara Windsor, in a radical departure from her usual comeback.
interviewed by the Morning star in 2014, Jeremy corbyn said that it was all ‘a long time ago’. He later admitted that he may have played ‘a small role’ in this carry On film, but added: ‘i was present but not involved.’
some suggest corbyn may have filmed another scene that was cut from the final version. it reportedly involved the Hon Mr clarence cholmondeley- smythe of the Foreign Office confronting cross- eyed rabble-rousing intellectual Jean- Paul sausage (Kenneth Williams). ‘Your rank?’ ‘Well, that’s a matter of opinion.’ cholmondeley- smythe then takes a look at Jean-Paul sausage’s ID and shakes his head, saying: ‘i’ve got sore misgivings.’
to which sausage replies: ‘i suggest you put some talcum powder on them.’
Carry On Clamping (1975)
THE doomed follow-up to carry On camping (1969), carry On clamping starred sid James as Bert Van Lock, chief car-clamper of the Belgian city of Knockers.
it is probably best remembered as the only carry On film in which Laurence Olivier ever starred. the distinguished actor had been going through a fallow period, so was delighted to be offered a five-week contract to play the redoubtable P. c. Bigend opposite Fanny cradock as traffic Warden Prunella Derriere.
His performance was highly praised by the critics. ‘Laurence Olivier’s profoundly dark interpretation of the role of P. c. Bigend lends carry On clamping an air of Dostoevskian fatalism, and an almost unbearable poignancy,’ wrote Derek Malcolm in the guardian.
‘at one point, Fanny cradock looks at his clamp and comments: “You’ve got a large one, dear.” Olivier, replies dolefully: “i’ve had . . . no . . . complaints,” before bursting into tears. it is one of the most moving moments i have witnessed on screen.’
But audiences stayed away, and the producers refused to cast a shakespearian actor in a major carry On role until 1979, when antony sher played Barry Biggun in carry On Bananas, opposite Vanessa Redgrave as the incorrigible Nurse Pout.
Carry On Brexit (2019)
PLANS are already underway for this blockbuster, starring Julian clary as David Davis, christopher Biggins as Boris Johnson, Danny Dyer as Jacob Rees-Mogg and Barbara Windsor as larger-thanlife Prime Minister theresa May.
in the opening scene, theresa May says: ‘i want a deep and special partnership’.
‘You should see my member state!’ replies Monsieur Barnier (alan carr).
‘Ooh! Naughty!’ giggles Mrs May.