The vexatious little boiler’s groupies were out in force
Sees the Speaker refuse to budge during bullying debate
WITH Parliament accused of bullying, who was in the Chair when MPs discussed these official findings? Why, the prime tantrum hurler himself, that vexatious little boiler Bercow. He is the King of Conniptions, the Caliph of Choler.
Few have more publicly, frequently, succumbed to the spitting red mist. Yet there he sat, refusing to budge from his great high place when Dame Laura Cox’s report on parliamentary abuse was debated.
Mr Bercow himself was criticised in that report. Anyone who has chaired anything, from a parochial church council to an over-50s nudist volleyball club, knows that if the meeting is likely to hear difficult allegations about your conduct, you step outside. Let someone else preside. This Speaker is tone deaf to propriety. The bullying scandal was raised by the rare and stalwart John Mann (Lab, Bassetlaw). Members hurried into the Chamber to hear Mr Mann, who spoke with a tremor of fury about the parliamentary inertia that has long stopped progress in these areas.
Even before Mr Mann began, Bercow was on his feet to make a pre-emptive sally, saying ‘independence and transparency were the best guarantors’ against misconduct.
He said ‘guarantor’ with one of those rolled rrrrrr’s with which he loves to lahdi-lard his pronouncements.
Bercow groupies were out in force – the likes of Stephen Doughty (Lab, Cardiff S & Penarth), who rose to deplore the Press’s interest in the scandal. ‘It is unhelpful for these matters to be discussed in the media,’ announced chum Doughty. Yes, sweep it under the carpet!
There was no sign of Mr Bercow’s best man, Julian Lewis (Con, New Forest East). Another Bercow-ite, Charles Walker (Con, Broxbourne), chose to watch from just beyond the benches. But Labour frontbencher Valerie Vaz, whose brother Keith is so close to Bercow, was soon ladling praise over Mr Speaker for ‘making Parliament a more diverse place’. She fluttered her eyelashes.
A wounding blow came from Maria Miller (Con, Basingstoke), a pro-diversity type who might have been expected to help Bercow. Instead she slid the letter knife under his ribs, noting that the Cox report called for ‘a complete change in leadership – including you, Mr Speaker’. Bercow tried to smile but it did not quite work. The muscles at the corners of his mouth had frozen.
Over the horizon galloped the quixotic form of James Duddridge (Con, Rochford), a terrific Bercow hater and Westminster’s least successful suicide bomber. He went into a long riff about how the Cox report identified ‘taunting, mocking, mimicking, making offensive comments’ etc., and then asked: ‘How can we encourage Mr Speaker to stop this behaviour?’ Bercow supporters were furious.
A wet little man from Ogmore, name of Elmore, shouted ‘outrageous!’ Mr Duddridge was soon being personally assailed for ‘bullying the Speaker’. Classic. Mr Bercow stands accused of treating staff horribly but must not be criticised in case it hurts his feelings.
MRBercow laughed ostentatiously at the Duddridge attack. He made a show of chatting to an aide. He nodded in approval when MPs made points which supported him. After a swingeing antiDuddridge rant from Jess Phillips (Lab, Yardley), her neighbour Alison McGovern (Lab, Wirral S) trotted up to the Chair, gushed some words at Bercow and ended them with a little wink at him. Bercow supporters kept saying how appalling it was that anyone should try to use the issue for personal political ends. As if they themselves were not doing precisely that.
For Ben Bradshaw (Lab, Exeter) it was, as ever, all about Brexit. Only Bercow could steer the Commons through Brexit! Commons Leader Andrea Leadsom said she was sure the deputy Speakers would be able to manage it just as well.
Later we heard ‘friends of Mr Bercow’ were saying he would step down in nine months. Believe it when it happens. Since 2009 he has been a glowering, malevolent presence at the very centre of our parliamentary politics. He has wrought terrible damage. His departure can not come a moment too soon.