Not to be sneezed at... M&S won't ditch their ‘sexist’ Man size tissues
MARKS & Spencer is ready to face down a ‘sexism’ storm which has seen Kleenex bin its Mansize-branded tissues.
The store said yesterday it has no plans to stop using the name on its own-brand boxes of tissues.
It came after Kleenex announced it was renaming the tissues ‘Extra Large’ following complaints from customers on social media.
The move was followed by Waitrose deciding to change the name of its Gentleman’s Smoked Chicken Caesar Roll, despite Gentleman’s Relish being an ingredient.
Kimberly-Clark, which makes Kleenex, had responded to complaints on Twitter by a mother from Surrey, who complained her fouryear-old son had been confused by the Mansize branding.
It said it would change the name in response to a ‘consistent increase of complaints on gender concern’. However, as critics ridiculed the
trend for scrapping long-standing brand names on the basis of a few online complaints, M&S declared: ‘We’re not currently planning on making any changes.’
The moves by Kleenex and Waitrose led to a barrage of wisecracks on social media.
One Twitter user joked that Mothercare would be next on the hitlist, while another tweeted: ‘Have you complained about Mum deodorant not being just for mums?’
THIS column specialises in daft animal stories, from Tasered sheep blocking the road in North Wales to the hedgehogs near London’s Euston station hibernating along the route of the HS2 railway line.
Creepy Crawlie Corner has also featured some belters over the years, including the Depressed River Mussel, responsible for widespread flooding in the Thames Valley, and the Little Whirlpool Ramshorn Snail, standing in the way of the A47 upgrade in Norfolk. Then there was the special suspension bridge to allow dormice to cross a new bypass in South Wales, which fell down during the first gust of high wind. As a nation we spend a small fortune on preserving the natural environment of threatened species. The latest to benefit is a colony of narrow-headed ants, who can only be found in England on the verge on the A38 trunk road near Chudleigh Knighton, in Devon.
Highways England is now working with the charity Buglife to protect their home alongside this busy dual carriageway, as part of a nationwide £30 million bio-diversity scheme. I have visions of them erecting ant-sized crash barriers and handing out miniature hi-viz jackets to the 1,000-or-so surviving worker ants and their queens. The only other surviving colony of narrow-headed ants is believed to be living by a road in the Scottish Highlands.
Elsewhere, in Aberdeenshire, a new outbreak of mad cow disease has been discovered. It is not known whether this is the same cow that earlier ran amok in a Mazda car showroom in Stirling, causing £1,500 of damage. I’ve heard of a bull in a china shop . . .
But it might have been worse. If the cow had managed to get behind the wheel of a car and had headed for the Highlands, it could have been curtains for the last colony of narrow-headed ants north of the border.
THESE days it’s increasingly difficult to stay ahead of the game. How many times have I written something in jest, only to find real life has beaten me to the punch? For instance, take the column I wrote last December, about the lunatic campaign to erase the word ‘men’ from our vocabulary.
It followed the Army’s decision to adopt gender-free language designed to be more acceptable to women, gays and transsexuals. Out went expressions such as ‘mankind’, ‘sportsmanship’ and ‘gentleman’s agreement’. The heart sank.
At the time of writing, I was in the throes of my annual bout of man flu — can you still say that? — and was coughing and sneezing my way through box after box of ‘ Man Size’ tissues. How long, I asked, would it be before anyone trying to buy a box of Man Size tissues would find themselves arrested for hate crime?
It was supposed to be a joke. Not for the first time, I should have known better.
Within hours of the column appearing, I heard from readers pointing out that in several shops, Man Size tissues had already disappeared from the shelves.
Jim Humphryes sent me a photo of a box of Tesco own-brand tissues, ‘ previously called Man Size’ now labelled ‘extra-large’.
‘In your own words, Richard,’ Jim wrote, ‘You Couldn’t Make It Up.’
Fast forward to this week and a letter in the Daily Telegraph, which caught my eye because it was written by an old friend of mine, the novelist Joseph Connolly.
NOTING that Kleenex Man Size, introduced in 1956 as Kleenex for Men, had been rebranded Extra Large, he suggested:
‘In the light of this righting of a terrible wrong, should it not be demanded of Kleenex that they immediately issue a heartfelt and unreserved apology to women everywhere who will doubtless have suffered unspeakable embarrassment, torment and lasting trauma — quite possibly to the extent of ruining their entire adult lives . . ?’
He’d summed up the absurdity of the decision with characteristic humour. But Jo was soon to discover that anything he could do, Kleenex could do better.
Parent company Kimberly-Clark, the world’s largest manufacturer of tissues, quickly put out a statement justifying the name change in response to ‘a consistent increase of complaints on gender concern’.
A spokesman said, presumably with a straight face: ‘Kimberly-Clark in no way suggests that being soft and strong is an exclusively masculine trait, nor do we believe that the Man Size branding suggests or endorses gender inequality.
‘ Nevertheless, as we remain committed to developing the best possible products for our consumers and take any feedback extremely seriously . . .’ blah, blah, blah. Stop it. How many millions, or billions, of boxes of tissues must Kleenex sell around the world every year?
And how many ‘complaints on gender concern’ has Kimberly-Clark received?
My guess is about half a dozen, if that. They may have been subjected to a few hostile tweets sent by a handful of dopey birds with too much time on their hands. Or some madwoman who can’t get a boyfriend might have set up a Facebook page, or something.
But, ladies, have you complained to Kleenex? Do you know anyone who has? Precisely. No, what we’re dealing with here is another classic case of corporate cowardice. Giant, global companies all too easily cave in to single-issue headbangers on social media. At least Kleenex didn’t issue the kind of grovelling apology Jo Connolly jokingly demanded in his letter.
That’s more than can be said for supermarket chain Waitrose, which couldn’t wait to say sorry to someone who complained about a ‘sexist’ sandwich sold as part of the Heston Blumenthal range.
Amy Lame (the surname rhymes with barmy, not fame) posted a picture of Heston’s Gentleman’s Smoked Chicken roll on Twitter with the comment: ‘I never knew sandwiches were gender specific. I’m female, but thankfully Waitrose let me purchase this anyway.’
Difficult to tell whether this was intended to be a joke, too. Amy Lame is described as an ‘American-British performer, writer, TV and radio presenter, known for her onewoman shows, her performance group Duckie, and LGBT-themed media works’.
Nope, I’ve never heard of her, either. Apparently, in 2016, mayor Sadiq Khan appointed her London’s first ‘Night Tsar’, whatever that is. Sorry, still none the wiser.
Anyway, when it comes to smoked chicken rolls, she knows of which she speaks. Judging by her photos, she’s no stranger to the sandwich counter.
The roll in question is so named because it contains anchovy mayonnaise, similar to Gentleman’s Relish, which dates back to 1828. No doubt that particular delicacy is next in the feminazis’ firing line.
EVEN if her tweet was supposed to be funny, it didn’t stop Waitrose cringing. A spokesman said: ‘It’s never our intention to cause offence — we’re not dictating who should eat this sandwich. However, we are planning to change the name of the sandwich soon.’
Why? Just because one person makes a sarcastic remark about it on social media? One, single, solitary person? For heaven’s sake. Where’s it all going to end? Does this spell the kiss of death for Nivea For Men, or L’Oreal Men Expert?
More to the point, in our glorious gender-free future, there is now officially a category of individuals called ‘men who menstruate’.
So will shops have to stop labelling sanitary products as ‘feminine hygiene’?
Think I’m kidding? Nothing would surprise me any more. The punchline to my column on the disappearance of Man Size tissues wondered how long it would be before supermarkets started selling them in ‘Trans Size’.
When it happens, remember: you read it here first.