The other glass ceiling
Just as they reach the peak of their career, a lot of women hit the menopause — and struggle to cope. What’s worse, many are too ashamed to admit it. Now, our exclusive survey lays bare the toll of...
AS A POLICE detective constable who pursues sexual and violent offenders, Keeley Mansell knows that keeping her emotional cool while interviewing prisoners is imperative to the job.
With almost 17 years on the force, Keeley was used to shaking off the unsettling feelings that difficult encounters with suspects could evoke. But four years ago, when she first started to experience peri-menopausal symptoms, the process often floored her — leaving her a total wreck, sobbing in the staff toilets.
It didn’t help that night sweats interrupted her sleep and she never knew when the next hot flush might strike. they were often so intense that she visibly poured with sweat.
‘My emotions were all over the place, made worse by how my uniform could become soaked during hot flushes and I’d feel like my whole body was on fire,’ she explains.
‘Meanwhile, my periods were horrific; so heavy that at times I was nervous to get up from my desk. Plus, I had crippling brain fog that meant I’d struggle to get my words out during meetings with my superiors.’
Keeley couldn’t sleep, woke more exhausted than when she’d climbed into bed and suffered migraines that could last for days. Worst of all, these wretched side-effects — which made her feel anxious and depressed — struck just as she was about to push towards the next big promotion of her career.
‘the timing of all this couldn’t have been worse,’ says Keeley, now 42, who lives in Nottingham with her husband Ross, 52, and their children Jackson, nine, and Jade, 23.
‘I’ve always been confident at work and was on the path to being promoted to sergeant. But just when I had everything to prove, my body let me down, creating the greatest confidence crisis of my life.’
the final straw came last year when Keeley arrived at an important meeting with her boss and realised she’d forgotten crucial paperwork. ‘Considering I was going for promotion, I’d managed to make myself look like a complete idiot. I was devastated and decided to give up on the idea of progression at work.’
Keeley is far from alone in reaching such a depressing professional epiphany during menopause. Far too many women discover the hormonal upheaval of those years becomes a glass ceiling, halting their careers at the moment they thought they’d be ready to fly.
Menopause typically strikes at an age when a woman is likely to have raised her family and finally feels able to focus on a last almighty push up the greasy pole to success.
the average age of menopause — defined as the point when a woman hasn’t had a period for at least a year — is 51. But the perimenopausal stage leading up to it can cause symptoms as early as your late 30s, and can drag on for ten years.
So even after a woman has overcome no end of obstacles while attempting to keep her career on track — pregnancy and maternity leave; the limitations imposed by childcare; feeling torn between family and professional commitments — she might yet be poleaxed by symptoms caused by the hormonal changes that herald the end of our fertile years.
But as an expert in women’s health, what I find most shocking is how, despite this being a stage every woman will experience, the vast majority are woefully unprepared for the menopause — which is precisely what allows it to wreak such misery.
In the latest in a series of surveys on the impact of menopause in the 21st century, I asked more than 1,100 women how its symptoms have affected their home lives, relationships and careers. An astonishing 96 per cent revealed they felt unprepared, with well over two-thirds admitting it came as a major shock.
Its physical impact is clearly overwhelming for many: 80 per cent said they suffer from tiredness; 77 per cent endure hot flushes and night sweats; 68 per cent experience aches and pains; and 65 per cent poor concentration and anxiety. Meanwhile, nearly half of the women we spoke to said they feel depressed.
But
it’s the effect this has on their work performance that is really telling. Almost half admitted they would find it hard telling senior management or even close colleagues that they are struggling, with 54 per cent concerned that admitting this would make them look less capable.
Depressingly, 29 per cent admitted speaking out about their struggle would make them feel inferior to male colleagues, and 45 per cent felt their boss would not understand anyway.
Little wonder that, with this myriad of health problems, menopausal women are struggling to hold on to their careers, especially when even talking about this life stage continues to be seen as taboo.
Let’s put this into perspective by imagining a return to the days when girls felt similarly ashamed discussing their periods; when menstruation came as a surprise to pubescent girls who had no idea what was happening to their bodies.
Now, of course, we go to great lengths to educate them on the physical symptoms and emotional challenges they will face as their menstrual cycle becomes established. Boys are included in the conversation, too. As a result, most girls manage to take the transition into womanhood in their stride.
Yet we forget that the changes that occur as our periods come to an end are also going to affect our health and well- being. And with the workplace demographic undergoing dramatic change ( the fastest growing group is midlife women, with 4.3 million female workers over 50), industry needs to wise up to the impact.
thankfully, companies and organisations are increasingly responding to this need.
take Leicestershire County Council, which recently did a gender breakdown among employees and discovered more than half of its female staff are over 45.
It has worked to raise awareness of the impact of menopause, and made reasonable adjustments while giving menopausal women the opportunity to receive support at work.
Jo Brewis is a professor of people and organisations at the Open university Business School. Last year she co-authored a government report that looked, among other things, at the impact of menopause on careers.
She discovered that the workplace itself often becomes an aggravating factor for menopausal symptoms — despite there being a host of simple measures employers can establish to help staff cope.
‘the message we pushed in that report was that providing things as simple as cold drinking water and fans can have a big impact,’ she explains. ‘ there are also more complex options, such as flexible working and specialist occupational support, that we feel employers have a duty of care to explore.
‘ Women often lose confidence because their symptoms affect them both physically and psychologically. that’s exacerbated if they’re anxious even of talking about what they’re experiencing.’
Jo, 49, says carrying out the research helped her recognise that she, too, was experiencing menopausal symptoms.
‘that shows how little menopause is talked about,’ she says. ‘If I hadn’t been working in this area, I don’t know how long it would have taken me to work out the cause.
‘For me the main problems were cognitive: struggling to access information that felt like it was hiding in the folds of my memory.
‘I’m naturally extremely organised, but became quite ditzy — doing daft things like getting on the wrong train, forgetting names and struggling to follow conversations because I’d suddenly drift off.
‘I’d reach for a word and it just wouldn’t be there, or I’d come out
with spoonerisms. For someone in academia, this wasn’t a good look.’
Jo believes, as I do, that menopause sits in society’s blind spot, with far too little attention paid to this universal female experience.
‘Every time I stand up in front of fellow academics, business groups or organisations and present on the subject, I see this dawning awareness spread across the faces of women in the audience,’ says Jo. ‘They’re realising, “I’m not going mad, I’m menopausal”. We have zero shame when it comes to talking about pregnancy and childbirth, and legislation goes a long way towards protecting working women who want a family. Yet there’s a terrible fear of saying you’re menopausal in case it elicits an unspoken “oh, yuk, she’s over the hill” response.’
Police detective Keeley was proactive in dealing with her symptoms and seeking workplace support. She sensibly approached her force’s human resources and occupational health teams.
‘I presumed there would be a policy in place that would protect me while I was experiencing these horrible side- effects,’ she says. ‘After all, there are clear policies regarding pregnant women.
‘ Yet despite my symptoms making me so ill I couldn’t do my job properly, there were no formal guidelines that covered me.’ Meanwhile, Keeley was put on various combinations of hormone replacement therapy — none of which helped much. She felt she’d fallen into a black hole.
She says: ‘I kept thinking, is this all I have left to look forward to? I spent six weeks off work just trying to get my strength back, I felt so dreadfully ill.’
At least Keeley knew what was causing her symptoms. Having worked with menopausal women for 27 years, one of the most upsetting phrases I hear is ‘I feel like I’m going mad’.
Women are prepared to consider all sorts of cognitive disorders — even brain tumours — before it occurs to them, and health professionals, that their symptoms could be hormonal. If they’re working in an environment where menopause is openly discussed, the chance of early diagnosis and support is increased.
If we’re going to address this issue — and defuse the bomb that’s blowing up our careers — being able to talk frankly is crucial. (It’s shocking that my survey also reveals 58 per cent of women find it difficult even to talk to their partners about the subject.)
For
I fear Jo and Keeley represent the tip of an iceberg. other professional women I’ve seen have described exhaustion so debilitating they’ve been signed off work for months.
A psychologist I worked with had to stop seeing clients because she was so sleep-deprived due to night sweats that she could no longer trust her ability to counsel. A dentist left work because she was dripping sweat on to patients.
A senior advertising executive took early retirement because she was convinced her inability to think straight would get her sacked. She bitterly regrets that move. After spending all those years climbing the ladder, she’s now feeling like her old self again, but has no way back.
Writer Deborah Garlick, keen to help women avoid stepping off the career path and educate employers, has founded the Menopause in the Workplace group with women’s forum Henpicked, which offers menopause training and support to businesses.
And thanks to Keeley, Nottinghamshire Police is trying to ensure better support for talented women like her who are struggling with hormonal changes.
She says: ‘ Menopausal staff members have access to extra uniforms so they can change, and fans to cope with hot flushes. If they need to take a shower or just have a bit of time out, it’s been made easy to do that. But women need to be proactive and look at ways to help themselves cope.’
I dread to think how many other women feel robbed of their careers, because they don’t realise it’s possible to have a good menopause and come out the other side feeling more vibrant than ever.
It is a travesty when dietary changes and the right supplements, along with a bit of exercise and relaxation, can go such a long way to turning things around.
We can’t sit back and wait for employers to get up to speed with how menopause affects their workforce. It’s time for mid-life women to get their bodies — and careers — back on track themselves.
Maryon Stewart runs an online menopause boot camp aimed at redressing symptoms, including lifting brain fog and improving concentration. She will be answering questions in her free virtual menopause class today at 7pm (UK time) at: maryonstewart.com/ virtualclass