Give me a no-nonsense copper, not this bleating PC Snowflake
Thank golly I’m not a snowflake. I haven’t got the energy. Detective Wi l l Wagstaffe pours his heart into right-on self-pity and empathy, and it’s exhausting him.
The London police inspector leading the hunt for a serial killer who targets paedophiles in Dark Heart (ITV) is worn to a frazzle by his political correctness. he goes ballistic with a cynical old copper who sneers at the idea that a murdered child abuser must be treated as a victim.
‘Do you think he is less deserving of our best efforts because of his past?’ he bleats. ‘anyone who does subscribe to that sort of moronic, sixth-form idea can p*** off.’
Minutes later, though, he meets a traumatised woman who was abused by the dead pervert. ‘I’m so sorry,’ gasps Inspector Will, his face crumpling as his heart goes through the wringer. ‘ Sorry for everything that has happened to you.’
By the end of the day, he’s unburdening all his woes to an exgirlfriend. ‘Trying to be a grown-up is hard,’ he wails.
Poor little petal. Life was so much easier for previous generations, happy to be ‘ boys in blue’ rather than ‘fully functioning self-actuated adults’ if that gave them licence to catch villains.
not all today’s policemen understand the paramount importance of political correctness in crimefighting, sadly. Inspector Will’s sergeant (Tom Brooke) is a sexist pig who calls women officers ‘sweetheart’. Send that man on a course!
Inspector Will could do with some retraining too, because he’s not above taking the law into his own hands. When his sister comes home with a black eye, he stalks her boyfriend and beats him up in an underpass.
Then he sits moping in his kitchen, obsessed with a date circled on his calendar. We’re supposed to believe it marks the day when his murdered parents have been dead for exactly as long as he’d been alive when they were killed. Got that? no, nor me.
as a general rule, if you need a diary and a calculator to understand why a character in a TV drama is upset, it’s too convoluted.
Dark heart continues tonight, and we can only hope it gets better. The basic idea, of a masked vigilante wreaking bloody justice on the city’s paedophiles, is a good one. But for self-pity’s sake spare us all the snow-flakery.
PC behaviour was not on display as The Secret Life Of The Zoo (C4) returned to show us what Chester’s animals get up to when they think we’re not looking.
hidden cameras revealed Meru the Rothschild’s giraffe getting hoovesy with the five females in his enclosure. he took a particular fancy to Orla, a shy female — forcing his attentions on her, until she got pregnant.
Then he dumped her, and moved on to the next conquest.
Meru was allowed to get away with this crass behaviour because there are only about 3,000 of his species left in the wild. no such luck for Oso the giant anteater, who moved straight in for a snog when he met his new mate, Bliss.
You really don’t want to be French-kissed by an anteater. They’ve got two- foot- long tongues. Bliss reared up and floored Oso with a right hook that could have flattened Tyson Fury. That’s how an old-fashioned girl looks after herself.
The most touching moment, perhaps the most moving thing on telly all week, came when Thi the elephant gave birth, at night, surrounded by her daughters.
Elephants are the most affectionate creatures. not like giraffes.