The gentle art of Bitchcraft

OUR COMPETITION TO FIND WHO IS MOST CAUSTIC OF ALL

JUDGING from Femail’s post this week, most of our readers know a thing or two about Bitchcraft. Sorting the large number of entries in our contest has been extremely difficult, even though we have been known to make the occasional cutting remark ourselves. Here are our first winners, who will each receive £1.

SAID to me with a beaming smile: ‘That’s a nice hat. How clever of you to wear pink, it’s so flattering when you’re middle-aged!’

(Mrs) E.CANNON, Westcliff-on-sea, Essex.

Two women were sharing a restaurant table. one finished her meal and lit a cigarette. The other said with heavy sarcasm: ‘I hope you don’t mind me eating while you smoke.’

The first woman replied

cooly: ‘Not so long as I can still hear the music.’

KAYE WINTERBOTTOM, Mattersey, Nr. Doncaster.

oN READING about this competition, my friend said to another girl: ‘why don’t you go in for that? You’re so good at that sort of thing.’

(Miss) C. WEBBER, Southlands College, London, S.W

I wAS very conscious of my dress being just a little too tight at a hen party.

Imagine my feelings when I was greeted with: ‘My dear, lovely to see you — simply bursting with health as usual.’

(Mrs) M. WOLLOMS, Yarm on Tees, Yorks.

wHILE talking to a man at a party, I noticed he kept looking around the room. ‘Are you expecting some friends?’ I asked. ‘oh no,’ he replied, ‘just waiting for someone interesting to turn up.’

(Miss) J. STAREY, Coombe Lane, London, S.W.