Pay up then cut all contact — for good

I admIre your determination to try to rekindle what was once clearly a good relationship — although a four-year gap is quite a long time!

however, people can change and I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for giving it another go.

You strike me as the sort of person who likes the finer things in life, and this lady seems to be the same, so you can be forgiven for thinking this holiday would have been fabulous.

You probably, and understandably, hoped the trip would cement your relationship — and there’s nothing wrong with having such an optimistic outlook. But, as we all know, it takes two to tango, and I’m a bit puzzled as to how serious she was about the relationship when she offered the invitation.

I’m also baffled that she didn’t seem to want to spend any of the holiday doing the things you like, or, indeed, making sure you had a good time occasionally.

I can’t help but think she wasn’t really interested in rekindling a proper relationship. Could it be she’s bored so, with money not in short supply, is filling her days with holidays all the time, and just wanted someone to go with her?

Or, of course, it could well be that she was very serious about the two of you and was simply being generous as — lucky her — money is not a problem.

either way, it doesn’t really matter any more. You can’t change the past. You went on the holiday. You did the right thing by insisting on paying your way at the time. and you must continue to do so now. The way you act at this moment is about your own self-worth and your independence, too.

The last thing you want is to end up feeling you’ve been ‘bought’, or that you have had no control over your decision to go away with her.

You must continue to pay your bill, but, once it’s done, I would suggest you cut all contact and chalk this up to experience.

don’t forget, you made the decision to go in good faith, believing you were investing in your relationship.

I’m not sure your friend could say the same for herself.

I’m afraid I don’t see the relationship being salvaged here, not even on a platonic basis, as she has been so cavalier with your own needs and did nothing on the cruise to try to help you enjoy what was your holiday, too.

Pay your outstanding balance as quickly as possible and go and find yourself a woman who will treat you with the consideration you deserve.