Would she paint the same picture?

Oh, dear. Well, first things first, it sounds as if this is definitely not for rekindling. Were your lady friend to make overtures again, I’d categorically rebuff them. It seems to me that you are rather incompatible.

I’m surprised you didn’t already know that after four years together first time round!

I have to say, I am always of the opinion that you should never go back. relationships break down for good reasons — and they will break down again. But then, you probably know that now.

That said, just because the relationship is over, it doesn’t mean your obligation to pay what you agreed has been discharged. She offered to pay for you, which was kind, but you said you’d pay her back in instalments, which was the right thing to do.

The fact that things went wrong changes precisely nothing with regard to the money!

Neither does the fact she’s got a few quid in the bank and you have to watch the pennies — the financial difference between you matters not one jot. What strikes me is that, while you clearly talked together and made a plan for the financial side of things, you didn’t do so when it came to what would happen on your holiday. Your mistake was a lack of research.

It’s OK that she didn’t want to go sightseeing — when I’m on holiday, all I want to do is find the pool and bar — but it’s a shame she didn’t tell you that. It’s a bit like going on a skiing holiday if you don’t ski — you wouldn’t then expect the other people there to hang up their boots and spend time in a chalet watching the snow fall.

So I sympathise with you on the fact that she didn’t seem to care about what you wanted. But I don’t see why you couldn’t have gone your own ways in port — her to the shops and you to the ruins or whatever.

ditto the dancing. If the poor woman’s got a bad toe, she’s got a bad toe — forgive her that. But there’s no reason you couldn’t have found other partners to dance with — with your lady friend’s agreement, of course.

You admit you became frustrated and argumentative, so the disastrous trip was perhaps not all one-sided, and I do wonder if she’d paint exactly the same picture as you.

Whatever the reason your dream trip turned into a nightmare, the sad reality is that neither of you got what you hoped for and now things are well and truly over. But a gentleman always honours his commitments. Settle up and move on with your head held high.