The one lesson I’ve learned from life

aMeRican singer-songwriter Joan Baez, 78, has more than 30 albums to her name. Divorced, she lives in california and has a son, Gabe, 49.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE A BETTER MUM

It has taken me a long time to be a grown-up. I always had an issue with intimacy because you have to open yourself up to another person; I was always looking for a way out.

Maybe becoming a singer was my way of dealing with those issues. My guitar was my armour — there it was between me and everybody else. and that made me feel safe, especially at the beginning, when my career took off so fast.

the sixties was the birth of the feminist movement, but I didn’t get it. By the time I had Gabe I was wanting to be a housewife. Women who visited me found me infuriating because I made cookies and kept saying: ‘Do you want some tea?’ I thought I was being a good hostess.

My marriage to David [harris] didn’t last. But it’s very moving to me that we’re friends today. sometimes we just sit there and tear up because of our past.

My son’s childhood was complex because we divorced early on, and there was all the bickering that goes with that. Luckily, when I was travelling, he had two nurses, and he still loves them today.

therapy helped me rebuild my relationship with Gabe. When he was younger, he really resented me being away, either performing or supporting humanitarian causes. I need to respect the fact he felt abandoned. the hardest thing is forgiving yourself, but it is necessary. and now, when things start niggling one of us, we just say: ‘Let’s go see so-and-so.’ and we discover this deep stuff that we’ve been sitting on.

It’s a nice irony that he plays in my band. a lot of mothers don’t get to hang out with their adult sons. this is my last tour, however. It’s time to stop. Instead, I plan on spending lots of time with my granddaughter, Jasmine, 15. she sings and plays guitar, too.

I worry terribly about the political situation in america and about global warming, but you have to make your little victories count.

I’ve always been a major sceptic, but someone told me pessimism is a waste of time. so I’m working on it.