Straight to the POINT

I HOPE the French have the good sense to fast-track my wife’s brandy if there’s a hold-up at Calais after Brexit. Otherwise France will go into recession with immediate effect.

TERRY COOTE, Barking, Essex.

UNILEVER is stockpiling Magnum ice creams — the obese can sleep soundly in their beds.

GRAHAM MARSH, Stockport, Cheshire.

IF BREXIT goes to extra time, could we end up with a penalty shoot-out?

PETER McCORMICK, Kelbrook, Lancs.

BRUSSELS refuses to re-negotiate, so I am refusing to eat sprouts.

J. N. HICKSON, Altrincham, Cheshire.

WILL Mrs May’s latest Brexit negotiations include withdrawal from Eurovision?

TONY BALL, High Wycombe, Bucks.

I AM flattered to be called a snowflake: no two are the same, they are beautiful and a large gathering of us could be dangerous.

MARIANNE GASTON, Bishop’s Cleeve, Glos.

NICK CLEGG is being paid a seven-figure salary by Facebook. I didn’t know they needed a director of U-turns.

J. WALMSLEY, Bury, Gtr Manchester.

IS SMART the new word for something that’s a bit rubbish: smart motorways, smart meters and smartphones?

COLIN WARBURTON, Yarm, N. Yorks.

TO MAKE it a fairer competition, Dancing On Ice should allow the public to vote off the least talented skater.

COLIN SHANKS, Waterlooville, Hants.

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