LITTLEJOHN

LOOKING forward to the march against The Donald? Me, too! It’s time we showed this tinpot dictator exactly what the British people think of him. Frankly, we’ve had our fill of this preening, middle-aged sexist pig throwing his weight around. We’re sick of his arrogant tweets and his contempt for democracy.

Who the hell does this self-styled ‘Mr President’ think he is? So join me, Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson at the Stop Tusk rally. I’ve already ordered the inflatable Baby Donald to be flown over the Houses of Parliament.

While I’m at it, maybe I’ll commission giant hot air balloons of a naked Jean-Claude Drunker, Michel Barnier and Angela Merkel.

Then we can invite the Provisional Wing of the Countryside Alliance to bring along their shotguns and blast these grotesque, puffed-up politicians out of the sky, like grouse on the Glorious Twelfth.

I’m sure Farage would lend me one of his matched Purdeys. If not, I’d settle for a secondhand sawn-off, left over from a South London blagging. What a joy it would be giving both barrels to effigies of Donald Tusk and the rest of the European ‘elite’.

Sorry, what’s that? You thought when I referred to ‘The Donald’, I was talking about President Trump?

I can see why you might have leapt to that conclusion. The usual suspects are already salivating at the prospect of their next demo against Trump, when he arrives in Britain for the Nato summit in December.

That’s if a rumoured state visit this summer doesn’t go ahead. His first official trip, last July, was an excuse for a petulant display of protests, which cost taxpayers £14 million to police.

Thousands of demonstrators, many in fancy dress, marched through London in a carnival atmosphere, wearing novelty headgear and waving placards plastered with obscene slogans. (No one has yet explained to me why a red ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap is an affront to decency, yet a hat resembling giant female genitalia is perfectly acceptable.)

In Trafalgar Square, they gathered under a ‘Baby Trump’ blimp, given the thumbs-up by London’s two-bob chancer of a mayor Sadiq Khan, and cheered a succession of Left-wing rabble-rousers heaping vitriol on the leader of our most important ally. Now they’re limbering up to do it all over again. The Lib Dems (11 MPs) and the Green Party (one MP) are promising to be ‘front and centre’.

No doubt O.J. (Oh, Jeremy) Corbyn will be there, too, blaming America for the humanitarian crisis in bankrupt, corrupt, socialist Venezuela. Try stopping him.

And when this orgy of condemnation and self- congratulation is over, and everyone has repaired to the pub until Glastonbury comes around again, will any of them stop to think why they’re protesting — and what on earth it is they hope to achieve?

Trump may be pretty unsavoury for the delicate palates of snowflake types and the dwindling band of prigs who still buy the Guardian.

But what harm has he ever done them? Or Britain, for that matter.

OK, so he offends their own set of ‘ principles’ and sense of selfrighteousness. But given that these people define themselves by who they hate, if Trump didn’t exist they’d have to invent him.

He’s not exactly my cup of meat, either. But his greatest virtue is his ability to send all the right people into a deranged frenzy.

What Trump does on the home front is entirely a matter for American voters, who elected him once already and will have to decide whether to award him a second term.

SO WHAT if he puts ‘America First’? That’s his job. If only we had a Prime Minister who put Britain first.

Unlike the EU’s unelected tyrants, Trump has only ever shown friendship towards Britain.

When we voted Leave, he was first out of the blocks, offering a ‘big, beautiful’ free trade deal.

Rather than bite his hand off, all the resentful Remain camp could do was scaremonger about chlorinated American chicken, which was going to wipe out half the population. (Never mind the poisonous Romanian horsemeat the EU sent us.)

U.S. military might has ensured the peace in Europe since World War II, which is why it is perfectly appropriate that the President is coming to Britain in December to mark the 70th anniversary of the Nato alliance.

Yes, Trump managed to upset European leaders by insisting that they keep their side of the bargain and commit two per cent of GDP to defence. But he was right to do so. And his uncompromising negotiating stance paid dividends, securing an extra $100 billion for Nato from Europe.

It’s a pity Mother Theresa has learned nothing from Trump’s success in playing hardball with our ‘partners’. Instead, she lets them trample all over her.

I was only half-joking when I said we should have a march against The Other Donald. As Tusk’s latest outburst illustrates only too well, he treats our female Prime Minister — and the British people — with disdain, patronising her with snide comments and snarky Tweets.

Had Trump done the same, we’d never hear the last of it.

President Trump, I repeat, only

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wants friendship and free trade. Tusk and the rest of the self-perpetuating conga-line of unelected EU ‘presidents’ aim to humiliate, subjugate and punish us economically, to turn us into a permanent prisoner of their rotten, antidemocratic empire.

The 17.4 million who voted Leave — Chesterton’s ‘secret people’ — are not the type to take to the streets. Nor, it should be said, are most of the decent folk who backed Remain. We leave the demos to the noisy show-offs determined to draw attention to themselves, whatever the convenient cause.

But if we must have another tiresome march against The Donald, let’s give Trump a miss, for once, and protest against our real enemy . . .

Donald Tusk.